Why Hope is Important For Patients with Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia

Regardless of the stage when a cancer is diagnosed, finding and sustaining hope is a vital part of a patient’s journey.

For me, the hardest part of dealing with chronic lymphocytic leukemia is the roller coaster of blood chemistry analysis. The platelet count goes up and down. It’s frustrating. It’s disappointing. It’s anxiety-producing. And the worst part is that there’s no diet, exercise or meditation practice that will change the test results. So, for me, hope is the most important resource in my toolbox of well-being. Others include courage to get through chemotherapy, radiation or surgery; strength to recover from the side effects; faith to keep going spiritually; and finally, love from family and friends. Love transforms us and gives us resilience.

I think that hope can come in myriads of forms. It’s such an important step in our cancer journey. I’m not talking about “pie in the sky,” wishful thinking hope, or a “pollyanna” hope that everything will turn out great. My hope is always tempered by reality: the very real prognosis. I do my research, get a second opinion and explore the alternatives. I consider chemotherapy, radiation and surgery, along with the full range of side effects. I seek out information on clinical studies and even investigate hospice care. I’m not leaving anything out. So, where is hope to be found?

Hope Can Come Through Medical Breakthroughs

The first AI-assisted colonoscopies are now available, with the computer assisting doctors and highlighting potential trouble spots that might otherwise be overlooked. Another AI system, called AlphaFold, predicts protein structures that may have great potential in finding ways to help with various types of cancers. A new treatment for metastatic prostate cancer can deliver radiation without harming normal tissue. It’s called Pluvicto (lutetium Lu 177 vipivotide tetraxetan), and the treatment is known as theranostics. There’s a new technique called InVision that uses imaging that highlights cancerous lymph nodes. These are just a few of the developments offering hope to patients with cancer. 

Hope Can Come by Listening with an Open Heart and Ear

Recently I had CT scans with contrast. While I was drinking the contrast medium, a young woman was wheeled into the room. I introduced myself, and we began to talk. She opened up like a floodgate. She was 44 and had stage 4 pancreatic cancer. Chemotherapy and other treatments had all failed. She has an 18-year-old son and a 22-year-old daughter.

She said she was glad she had them when she was young because now, they are old enough to understand what she was going through. For her, hope is being able to spend time with them before she dies, letting them know how much she loves them and hoping that knowledge lives on in their hearts. Her husband, who had been listening to some of our conversation outside the door, said she’d been feeling so alone. But now, because of our sharing, he felt she had someone who understood what she was going through.

Sometimes all it takes to bring hope to someone is a willingness to share experiences. However, it was important for me both to listen to her words and then to empathize with her feelings. I think she needed permission to cry, and in so doing she let out all the things she had been holding inside. We shared a communion of spirit, and it was felt in our breath and beating hearts. I think all of us can be “waiting room therapists” by listening and showing empathy to our peers. Sometimes no words are needed. All it takes is holding a hand in silence. Let the silence be the healing force. 

Hope Can Come Through Music

A song can change my mood within seconds. It lifts my spirits when I’m faced with challenges. For patients with cancer, music can transform our bodies. It can reduce daily stress, calm blood pressure and boost the immune system. It opens our hearts to the possibilities of the unknown. Music is a bridge over the troubled waters of a cancer diagnosis. It has a mystical quality that can take us to a place of internal quietude. Certain compositions can be particularly moving —Beethoven’s “Moonlight Sonata,” Mozart’s “Requiem” and Bach’s “Brandenburg Concertos.” Or Andrea Bocelli singing “The Prayer,” with Heather Headley, or when Judy Collins sings “Amazing Grace.” These songs may touch many of us, whether we are religious or not. They reach into our spirit, and our physical bodies respond. Sometimes, we cry and are unaware of what is happening in our bodies. I believe the soul of the singer or composer goes deep within and touches our own souls. It’s a mystical experience. We connect in a profound way and realize that we are all one, regardless of our differences. 

Hope Can Come Through Loving Relationships and Family Support

A dear friend was recently diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. Unlike the 44-year-old woman I spoke of earlier, she’s a retired senior citizen. Despite the knowledge that most people don’t survive this type of cancer, she always remained positive. We both had chemotherapy at the same time with good results. She had tremendous family support from her husband, son and two daughters. It also helped that her sister was a retired nurse. Her son also brought laughter into her room, and she was able to find humor, even with the pain she suffered. Laughter is good medicine for all patients with cancer. With her family by her side hope was manifested throughout her many treatments. My friend had surgery and learned that just before Christmas, she is now cancer-free. What a great gift for her to experience with her family!

Hope Can Come Through Poetry

Not everyone appreciates or understands the poetic expression of thought, but for those who do, it has a profound effect. I feel that poetry is just as therapeutic as music, but I think it must be read aloud to experience the full impact. Then it really resonates deep within. Poetry must be felt in the heart, mind and body for its healing effects to occur. 

Recently I had a consultation with my hematologist/oncologist. A review of lab work showed my platelets were steadily declining and, in fact, had become dangerously low. I was so disappointed when I left the office and could feel the beginning of depression setting in. Amazingly when I got home, an e-mail with a poem by my friend Shelly Font was waiting. She said she was “…feeling inspired to write something for me” because my support had given her hope. It read, in part:

Shelly sent her poem literally a few minutes before I sat down at my computer. Reading it brought tears to my eyes. It lifted my spirits and kept me from going down the dark path of sadness where I had been headed. How amazing that Shelly would send this poem at this time when I needed hope. Her poem reduced my stress level. Her poem lowered my blood pressure. Her poem made me feel loved as a cherished friend.

This is the power of the spoken word. This is the mystery of poetry — that it can reach down into the depths of our spirit and lift us out of darkness into the light. Even though it was written for me, perhaps Shelly’s poem is also a metaphor for the universal nature of suffering in our world because it speaks to the ever-present pain cancer patients deal with on physical, psychological and spiritual planes. Reaching out to each other helps us to cope by. Hope is ineffable. You can’t see it, but you sure can feel it when you have it!

Let’s start this new year by looking for hope in our lives. Really, hope is all around us. It can appear in the petals of a flower. A flower bud is a symbol of hope. My favorites are daffodils, chrysanthemums, carnations, lisianthus, roses, dahlias and irises. I look forward to their unfolding beauty. Hope can appear in the clouds. Hope can be found in a greeting card. It can even be found in raindrops falling on our heads. And hope comes in realizing that’s what friends like Shelly are for.

Friends support us through their love, and that helps us to become resilient. Resilience is not solely the product of one’s own effort but develops and evolves as others show care and compassion for our struggles. Hope embraces us and shows that we are all connected by the circle of life. Hope is flexible and is always being adjusted to meet the challenges of the day. Look around and see where hope appears in your life. You may even see yourself, and your own reasons for hope in a poem written for me, because really, it is written for you as well — and indeed for all humanity. 

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