A Caring Oncologist and the Power of Prayerful Friends

I have good news to report. My oncologist decided to treat me in advance for the side effects of my treatment. So, half an hour before the chemotherapy infusion for my chronic lymphocytic leukemia began, she gave me three powerful pills, which literally knocked me out.

I had books with me to read but by the time the nurse started setting up the tubes and machines, I was nearly asleep. The only beeps I heard were when the nurse came to increase the dosage.

After the infusion was doubled for the first time, I had no reaction and the nurse jumped for joy. She told me we should have smooth sailing after that point. With the second dose, there was no reaction…and I was still sleeping like a baby. So, she put a warm blanket on me.

At around noon, I woke up to have some snacks. I had purchased a little snack box from Aldi with cheese, grapes, crackers and apple slices. It was just perfect. The nurse gave me some ice water and I was all set. After lunch, I went right back to sleep.

As I approached the last few hours, the machine began to beep a lot. I asked the nurse if the beeping was because I crossed my legs but she said that was not the reason. She said this particular infusion always seems to develop bubbles and they have to massage the tube to get them out. So, she came back and forth several times for the next few hours.

Finally, she woke me to tell me I was done. She said, “You made it through with no reactions at all.” My oncologist did some blood work and told me it appeared the treatment was working because there was a gradual increase in my platelet count. She said she was so happy to see that and was encouraged that the treatment would work.

Thank you so much for your prayers.Thank you for holding me in the light. The only side effect I am experiencing is tiredness and feeling heavy.

My Second Chemotherapy Treatment

My oncologist said the chemical they are infusing would not cause me to lose my hair. I was prepared for it, but happy to know it will not happen. One of the members of my Quaker community (religious society) sent me three verses on the morning of my first treatment. I printed them and carried them with me to use as a meditation while sitting in the waiting room. I was the only person there, and it was quiet.

“Hold onto your hope: surrender your expectations.

Hold onto your loves: surrender your fears.

Hold onto your living: surrender your future.”

Those words resonated deep within my soul, especially when it came to surrendering my expectations. I wasn’t sure how I would react and thankfully, I could surrender with ease. I was also a bit afraid of being in a new facility and not having my regular nurses, but the new ones were equally as compassionate.

When it came to surrendering my future… it is all I can do. I realize I have no control over what happens. I can only follow what the oncologist tells me to do and try to keep my diabetic status under control, but that has been extremely difficult for me because I am eating comfort food. I know I shouldn’t, but I do! One of the medications I take in pill form is also increasing my blood glucose level so that makes it even worse. I used to be disciplined, but that seems to have all gone out the window now! I ask for your prayers on this matter.

My father was diabetic since he was age 22, so I have lived with his discipline all my life, watching him inject himself every single morning with 40 milliliters of insulin. I have not gotten to that point and I hope I won’t get there. I’ve always known, from a genetic standpoint, that I had a 50/50 chance of becoming diabetic. Genetics have eventually caught up with me.

This past week I had periods of exhaustion and heaviness that would come out of the blue. Suddenly, I would barely be able to stand or sit comfortably. I would feel faint and have a total lack of energy! I experienced this during a Quaker meeting and was able to make it through. The thing about chemotherapy is that it is cumulative. This time it knocked me out. So as this second treatment ends, I expect less energy as the weeks pass. I know the drill. I have been through this before.

A member of my Quaker community gave me a book, which I am reading. It is called“Poetry of Presence: An Anthology of Mindfulness Poems.” I couldn’t believe it had all of my favorite poets in it! The second book I am reading was given to me by a friend. I met him while staying at Hope Lodge in Baltimore, Maryland and attending Stony Run Friends Meeting (where my partner continues his treatment program for metastatic prostate cancer). His book is entitled, “The Healing Body: Creative Responses to Illness, Aging and Affliction,” by Dr. Drew Leder.These tools are helping me get through this process, in addition to the fresh flowers, which were sent to me by a couple of my friends.

As of today, my shirts and pants are too big. My waist is currently 30 inches. It was 32 inches during my college years. The good news is my platelet count is slowly improving. Thank you for your support. Please continue to hold me in the light.

This post was written and submitted by Chester Freeman. The article reflects the views of Freeman and not of CURE®. This is also not supposed to be intended as medical advice.

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