My husband received a cancer diagnosis of esophageal cancer in spring 2022, which was complicated by a long-term heart condition. Over a period of years, starting in 2001, he’d had three heart attacks, open heart surgery and an internal defibrillator, all of which complicated and modified some of the treatment he was receiving for his cancer.They had to cut his chemotherapy treatments short because it was just too hard on his heart. “A Notch on Your Life Belt” is a reflection of the conflicts we went through, balancing his cancer and its treatments, the drugs it took to keep him in remission, the constant need to tend to his heart and the medications it required. “Drugs and a Bedpan” tells the story of how I was learning to be his caretaker through this period of time and “The Simple of Ordinary written soon after my husband died, in July 2023. It is basically a reflection on how I would cope without him to take care of anymore.

This post was written and submitted by Mary Sexson. The article reflects the views of Sexson and not of CURE®. This is also not supposed to be intended as medical advice.

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When I was my husband's caregiver, I tried to make things comfortable, but I'm not sure if the drugs and bedpans could ever make it right. 

To Be a Caregiver for My Husband

Mary Sexson

Several years ago, my friend went back to school to be a prosthetic fitter. While interning at a plastic surgeon’s office, she saw a need for women with breast cancer in their after-surgery stage. From that experience was born her vision of A World of Pink.

I will never forget the day she walked into the dance studio and announced that she was starting a business to help women with breast surgery aftercare. I had to chuckle thinking only Christine would take on more than she was already doing — a mother of three, a dental hygienist and now starting a company!

With her company and foundation, Christine has changed the lives of countless women in New York and across the country. She designed the first breast prosthetics for women of color, fashionable but comfortable bras for post-mastectomy surgery and so much more. Her foundation’s fundraisers (galas, golf outings and more) raise money to give to patients who can’t afford the aftercare they need and deserve. Christine makes sure they know they can get their bras for free through their insurance.

The annual gala is a big production. Christine involves the whole community. From local college dance teams and aspiring musicians to retired football players and other professional athletes, everyone is involved in the evening’s events. Patients are invited to model, wear a pretty gown, get their hair and makeup done. They are escorted down the runway by either their surgeon or by one of the athletes in attendance. At the end of the night, all survivors are invited onto the runway.

Christine Guarino is always on the go, finding ways to help women feel beautiful and good about themselves after surgery. She is an inspiration and beyond generous with her time and contributions. She cannot help people enough. I am honored to be her friend.

One woman created an accessible and affordable business to help women regain confidence after breast cancer surgery through prosthetics.

My Breast Friend: The Woman Who Helps Women Feel Beautiful After Breast Cancer Surgery

Michele Ortiz

During Harry Small's journey as a caregiver for his husband Alan during his pancreatic cancer, he wrote his feelings through each step as a series of poems to share.

Being with him while he sleeps, while he’s up.

I never knew that I had all these tears in my system.

Seems like I lost many pounds, tearful pounds

The tears of joy just knowing him for thirty years of love.

My heart and eyes still converted the dread to love

He will always send it back to me no matter where he is.

Barely looking like the image in my mind of him

My love just manifests that this is the exact same man

Thirty years of love, covered up sometimes

It’s God’s acknowledgment that he is a very special,

More people to feel comfortable and welcome.

Space is needed to be created on earth first.

No matter who they are, not what they are.

Sometimes it’s difficult to do this, even for me.

This tender loving person has shown me the way.

As I sit here day in and day out just two feet away

And stare over at him and ask Why? No answer

While he is departing our world keeps me heart broken

But speaking to him every thirty minutes even without the smallest response

Our friends have called every day just to let him know that they love him

And the experience of having him in their lives.

I am sad that he is going through this, but he is pain free.

I am happy that I chose to bring him here, near me, in our home

I never experienced happiness and sadness at the same time.

My experience of loving him has blossomed and consumed me

My thoughts sneak back to some bad moments

But my love outweighs them, and love returns rapidly

Don’t wait to be near love all the time.

He looked peaceful, at rest, maybe even glad it’s over.

I kept looking at him thinking he would move

Forms to sign (print then write, print then write)

Stroking his head feels the same when…..

Holding his hand feels the same when he was…..

Do you want the top sheet, top one I’ll keep

They gave me the choice to stay in the room

I should have stayed to say goodbye again

Oxygenator out, people out, silence, stillness, peacefulness

After everyone left my sister came up to me

A caregiver uses poetry to work through their husband's cancer journey.

Writing As A Caregiver: Feelings and Thoughts During My Husband’s Cancer

Harry Small

My dad was an awesome man. He was a man of God who was strong in his faith and never met a stranger. During his time as a patient of Dr. Claude Grigg Jr., he became close friends with Jessica Krousel, B.S.N., RN, his primary nurse. 

Jessica was always kind and compassionate to my dad. He would come home from chemotherapy, tell me how good Jessica was and how much he enjoyed “visiting” with her. Jessica always had my dad’s best interest in mind and treated him with respect.

Due to his hard work in the past, Dad’s hearing wasn’t really good. When COVID-19 came along and my mom was no longer able to take him to his appointments, I began taking him. Even with COVID-19 restrictions in place, Jessica and Dr. Grigg always allowed me to go in with my dad to “listen” for him.

As his health declined, I would call Jessica with questions, and she always got me an answer that helped. On Dad’s birthday, Dec. 9, Jessica had balloons waiting and celebrated with Dad during his appointment.

When the day came that it was decided nothing else could be done for him medically, Jessica cried with me on the phone. 

Ten days later, when I called to let Jessica know that my dad had passed, she cried with me again. Jessica was late for the funeral but still came to the house to see my mom and me. She sent me a text after the funeral and included a beautiful song that she said was how my dad felt about me. Every time I listen to “The Man Who Loves You the Most” I think of my dad and his wonderful nurse, Jessica.

Jessica was always there to take care of and love on my dad during his visits, except when she had COVID-19. Although the other nurses were great, Dad (my mom and I, too) always missed her terribly during her leave. We were all overjoyed when she returned to work. Jessica was always there for my dad and us as a family. She went above and beyond in everything she did. When Jessica was taking care of it, we never had to worry. It would get done.

My dad “went home” on Feb. 22, 2021. Just recently, Jessica texted me that she was thinking about my dad. She is still taking care of mom and me with her friendship. Jessica is the best nurse I’ve ever met. She is most definitely an Extraordinary Healer®.

A patient would come home from chemotherapy and tell his family how much he enjoyed "visiting" with his oncology nurse. 

An Oncology Nurse Was a 'Treasure' for a Patient and His Family

Missy Robinson, RN

Kelly Bryant, RN, (Mama Kelly, as we call her in the clinic) is a wonderful, caring and compassionate oncology nurse. Kelly is a cancer survivor herself. She has built a strong rapport with so many oncology and hematology patients. Her commitment to her patients’ care motivates her to be at work every day. Her determination to overcome and beat cancer also helped to inspire and encourage the patients we serve.

As cliche as it may sound, Kelly is the first nurse to arrive and the last nurse to leave each and every day she works. Many years ago, a retiring nurse once told me that anyone can be trained to become a nurse, but only a select few were born to become nurses. After working with Kelly for many years, I now understand how true that statement is.

Kelly goes above and beyond the basic treatment routines with her patients every day. She takes the time to hear their story, especially those whose lives have been turned upside down with the sudden diagnosis of cancer. She takes the time to listen to the patient’s or family members’ concerns. She helps connect many patients with public service assistance programs or organizations that may be able to assist them financially, emotionally, physically or mentally.

The most amazing thing about Kelly is that she doesn’t stop being a nurse when she clocks out at the end of the day. Kelly goes home to provide care to her husband as well. She is a wonderful, caring and compassionate wife and caregiver to her Vietnam War veteran husband.

Kelly was born to care and tend to people in need. She demonstrates that each and every day. She is such an amazing nurse. I wish we could clone her multiple times over. Health care across this country needs more nurses like Kelly Bryant.

As cliche as it may sound, Kelly Bryant, RN, is the first nurse to arrive and the last nurse to leave each and every day she works. 

A Cancer Nurse Who Is Called to Serve

Ides Torres, MLS(ASCP)

My brother died from cancer, piece by piece.

His spirit stood so strong; bold, and upright.

My cancer, it ripped chunks right off my face.

To my fellow suff’rers, I thus embrace,

‘gainst Cancer; terror, stalker in the night.

does battle as we fight from dark to light.

We struggle on, to keep our psyches whole,

Cancer steals our lives; yet not our passion.

Everyone’s life is touched by cancer. You cannot live into adulthood without cancer hitting a friend, a loved one, a sibling, a child. My younger brother Michael had a particularly virulent strain of oral squamous cell carcinoma. I had two bouts with metastatic melanoma. 

Michael and I both had pencil eraser sized initial lesions. His was on his tongue. Mine was just in front of my left ear’s tragus. His spread like a pandemic throughout his mouth, head and neck. Mine was contained to an area about the size of a 3x5 index card.

Michael died on December 14, 2012. Mine struck in 2006 and I survived to write a top-selling book about melanoma that has over 50 reviews on Amazon.

As a poet, it is my job to write the truth in unalloyed terms. I work in sonnets because the strict form of 14 lines of 10 syllables each, with a strict rhyme scheme, forces you to say exactly what you mean; there is no wiggle room. I have written dozens of poems about life and death. I write often about how near-brushes with death create a sense of joy and urgency in one’s life. I write often about how death leaves you gutted.

This sonnet, number 304, is the exemplar of my poetic work.

This post was written and submitted by David L. Stanley. The article reflects the views of Stanley and not of CURE®. This is also not supposed to be intended as medical advice.

Cancer is an emotionless assassin that can attack us and the ones we love most.

Cancer's Terror in the Night

David L. Stanley

Deborah DiPrete, RN, epitomizes the essence of a phenomenal oncology infusion nurse through her unwavering dedication, exceptional care and genuine compassion for her patients. Her commitment extends far beyond administering treatments; she embodies the true essence of patient advocacy and holistic care.

Deborah's exceptional quality lies in her genuine concern for each patient's well-being. Her compassionate nature transcends conventional nursing duties. She invests time to truly understand her patients, ensuring their physical and emotional needs are met. Her dedication is palpable in the seamless coordination of comprehensive care, from infusion treatments to post-infusion support.

What distinguishes Deborah is her remarkable teamwork and collaboration. She transcends boundaries by actively engaging with the entire care team. Her willingness to walk over from the infusion area to discuss cases exemplifies her commitment to comprehensive patient care. Her tireless efforts in communicating and coordinating care plans demonstrate her proactive approach in ensuring patients receive optimal support.

Deborah's thoughtfulness extends to the minutest details, ensuring patients are comfortable throughout their treatment journey. Her proactive nature is evident in anticipating and addressing potential challenges, going above and beyond to ensure patients feel supported and cared for. Having personally experienced Deborah's exceptional care when caring for my mother-in-law, her impact is profound. She orchestrates a symphony of care, liaising with various specialists, ensuring families are informed and alleviating concerns through her unwavering support.

In essence, Deborah DiPreteisn't just an oncology infusion nurse: she is a beacon of compassion and excellence in the healthcare realm. Her dedication, empathy and comprehensive approach define her as a truly exceptional caregiver, leaving an indelible mark on the lives of those she touches.

An Experienced, Compassionate, Incredible Leader

Deborah (Deb) DiPrete, RN, is an absolutely wonderful oncology infusion nurse and leader in our Dana-Farber Cancer Institute program. She is calm, collected, respectful, organized, kind, compassionate and is always willing to go the extra mile (or the extra 100 miles) to get patients what they need and to support her fellow nurses and doctors as she does so.

She often serves as “charge” nurse on our infusion floor and is the one receiving all triage requests and needs. In this role, she is so committed to accommodating the patient and care team. She understands the importance of this, the desire to keep patients out of the emergency room whenever possible and is always creative about making this happen.

She is one of our most experienced infusion nurses and is a constant resource for all of us when it comes to treatment-related issues and patient care. She is known to mentor formally and informally most/many of the nurses on the floor and is the go-to nurse when it comes to managing reactions, understanding options for patient triage and accommodating our patients’ needs.

Our patients also seek her out, consistently requesting her presence or care as they are receiving treatments for their cancers.

Deb is an outstanding communicator as well, facilitating interactions with the care team whenever possible. She will often come over to our provider workroom to discuss a challenging patient situation, to troubleshoot how we might address it, and to come up with a solution.

These attributes, coupled with her unparalleled clinical acumen and kind nature, make her an unstoppable nurse and nurse leader. We are so lucky to have Deb advocating for and treating our patients.

I would like to nominate Deborah Diprete, RN, for the 2024 CURE Extraordinary Healer award. I am a breast medical oncologist at Dana-Farber Cancer Institute (DFCI) in Boston and have worked with Deb in her role as a senior infusion nurse for the past 20 years.

Our oncology group specializes in the care of young women with breast cancer, and Deb and I have shared many very young patients over the years, often young mothers struggling with the need to care for their breast cancer and care for their families.

Deb exudes immense confidence and deep compassion for our patients. She immediately puts patients at ease, caring for our young women as if they were her own friends or family. She is especially sensitive to the unique needs of our youngest patients, often anticipating their worries or concerns and coordinating the multidisciplinary care they need for optimal clinical and psychosocial outcomes. If a patient is struggling in any way, she always finds me to talk about how to provide the best support and care for them.

Sometimes receiving chemotherapy can be quite scary, especially if there is an infusion reaction or other unexpected event. Deb always remains calm and confident, providing immense emotional support for our patients while also leading the effort to resolve the events as soon as possible. Patients feel enormous trust in Deb and her guidance.

She also mentors new infusion nurses at DFCI, and I am so grateful that they are being trained by a master clinician in the best possible care for patients with cancer. The field of breast oncology has evolved considerably over the past years, with many new treatments entering our portfolio, and Deb is always up to date on the most cutting-edge therapies, often sharing with me her impression of tolerability and toxicity from our newest agents. I have so much I learn from Deb, and I share this information when I am teaching MD providers about the care of patients with breast cancer. In Deb’s book, the patients always come first, and she will always go the extra mile to help them do their best.

Medical oncology depends tremendously on teamwork and having the best players on your team to care for our patients. Deb is an extraordinary teammate, and I am so lucky to be on the team with her.

Deborah DiPrete, RN, exemplifies exceptional oncology infusion nursing through her dedication, compassion, and patient advocacy. Her holistic approach ensures comprehensive care, addressing both physical and emotional needs. She excels in teamwork, actively engaging with care teams to optimize patient support. As a charge nurse, she skillfully manages triage and mentors colleagues, enhancing patient care and team dynamics. Her ability to anticipate patient needs and provide emotional support during challenging treatments fosters trust and confidence. Deborah's leadership and clinical acumen make her an invaluable asset to the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute.

An oncology nurse from Dana-Farber Cancer Institute exudes the definition of an extraordinary healer, according to three colleagues. 

An Oncology Nurse Who Goes Above and Beyond 

Dr. Rachel Freedman

Do not let the title of my story fool you. I am almost seven times that far in life since I was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma in November of 1988. One thing I remember though, clear as the day it was said, my oncologist quoting me that after five years in remission with clean scans and follow-ups, I would be done with my battle with cancer. This was confirmed at my final visit with my oncologist five years following my last treatment, when no future appointment was scheduled for me with him.

Of course, the “five-year” rule evidently did not just apply with the doctor, because as I tried to obtain health and life insurance upon completion of my treatments, I was denied and encouraged to reapply when I was “in remission five years.” Even the prospect of new employment (prior to the passing of the Americans with Disabilities Act) left me having to wait until I was in remission for five years, or so I was given that excuse for denying me employment.

Certainly, I understood the risks of relapsing after my treatments had ended. I know several other cancer survivors who faced this unfortunate situation. So, it only made sense to set a time frame when we should be clear of relapse without fear, not a guarantee, but pretty good odds. That milestone is five years.

Five years seems like a number everyone agrees upon, except for, well, the cancer survivor themself.

As I mentioned at the beginning of this story, I am a 35-year survivor of Hodgkin’s lymphoma. I remember what it was like, going through those early follow-up appointments, having symptoms that mirrored how I felt when I was first diagnosed, always worried about the “R” word: relapse. But I also remember what it was like, once I hit that five-year mark, and was told by my oncologist that I would no longer need to be seen. My cancer was behind me. If my sneakers could have left screeching tire marks as I left the oncologist’s office, they would have done so.

However, if I could go back in time, and ask just one question, it would be this: what can I expect life to be like after five years? Ten years? Thirty years? Is 50 years even possible? It seemed the doctor knew everything to look out for during those five years, knowing what I know now about my life after those five years, I feel there is more that he should have told me. In fact, I will gamble “dollars to donuts” that recent and current patients are not having “after-five-years” discussions, either. And they should be having this discussion.

Anyone who has been treated for cancer is given information about potential side effects for the treatments they will be getting — in the short term and in the long term. Back in 1988, not much was known about the long-term, you know, after the five-year mark. But those potential late-developing side effects after five years, not guaranteed but potential, are now known, mostly because of survivors like me and many others, who have lived decades past our treatments, needing medical attention and intervention for any number of issues: cardiac, pulmonary, skeletal, gastrointestinal, endocrine-related, skin or even a secondary cancer.

Were we simply not expected to live much longer after five years that nothing in our distant future would be discussed? With what is known now about the potential late side effects, why does the oncologist not at least recommend lifetime follow-ups for potential late developing side effects with a primary care physician, with a list of routine tests to be done every so often, then to be referred to a specialist as needed? Why did I have to find out the multitude of issues related to my treatments, mainly from other fellow long-term survivors who faced similar experiences? Why is this still the predominant attitude when it comes to treating cancer patients? Why aren’t cancer survivors being told about life after five years of surviving cancer, not just the time up to the five-year mark?

I am thrilled that I have lived long enough to see progress made in diagnostic methods and better and safer treatments, that what I went through, current patients do not carry as likely a risk for the late effects I deal with (three heart surgeries; potential for lung cancer; potential for esophageal cancer, the list goes on), there is still a potential for late side effects. And it would be better to catch these issues before they become life threatening. That might just make living life after cancer much easier.

. The article reflects the views of Edelman and not of CURE®. This is also not supposed to be intended as medical advice.

I was told that after five years in remission, my cancer would be behind me. However, I was not told what life would be like after that milestone. 

Life Five Years After Cancer

Paul Edelman, Jr.

I have a little tumor and it lives inside of me.

I didn’t know until the X-ray made it plain to me.

It sends out baby tumors from my heels up to my head;

Metastasis is what they call this deadly kind of spread.

The awful thing about them is the way they like to grow —

Not at all like proper tissues, which is always very slow;

They grow at such a rapid pace while other tissues crawl,

That if I don’t get treated, they will soon engulf me all.

Each morning, very early, when the sun’s rays just arrive,

I start the day with gratitude that I am still alive;

I look inside and say I’m brave and try to banish dread.

I may feel weak, I may be slow, but still I’m not yet dead.

The tumors shoot me painful signals almost every day,

To get relief I know the doctor’s going to find a way

To treat me and attack the tumors so to lift this pall,

And make them all so little that there’s none of them at all.

This poem was written and submitted by Richard Strickland. The article reflects the views Strickland and not of CURE®. This is also not supposed to be intended as medical advice.

I wrote a poem similar to Robert Louis Stevenson’s “My Shadow” about my cancer diagnosis. 

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