Linda Windham

After walking alone in Chicago’s Cancer Survivor’s Walk, I found strength: © stock.adobe.com

On a beautiful day in 2007, I decided at the last minute to participate in Chicago’s Annual Cancer Survivor’s Celebration Walk in Grant Park. For those who have never been to Chicago, Grant Park is where we have many of our summer events, festivals and concerts. Home of The Buckingham Foundation, the park has a beautiful tapestry of gardens and trees with the backdrop of Lake Michigan. Traffic on weekends in Chicago can be brutal not to mention the agony of finding reasonably priced parking that doesn’t require a long walk or taking a cab to your final destination. Knowing this, I should have planned earlier but I was unsure of my ability to complete a 5K walk after only 3 months post-surgery. It didn’t help that I was walking alone.

I didn’t invite anyone to walk with me since many friends grew distance after I was discharged from the hospital which is when the real work of survivorship begins. Suddenly, your schedule is filled with a constant cycle of follow up exams, MRIs and bloodwork giving you both hope and uncertainty at the same time. Battling cancer changed me and it changed my relationships as well which helped me to accept that some friendships would not survive my cancer.

Sometimes, cancer has a way of bringing out the best in the patients but the worst in everyone else. Nonetheless, I realized later that taking this walk alone would become an amazing turning point in my recovery.

After driving from the suburbs to downtown Chicago, I parked in Northwestern Memorial Hospital’s garage which fortunately, had parking validation for the event. Thankfully, I was also able to take the last shuttle to Grant Park. Upon arriving at the registration tent, I was greeted by a woman who asked me how long had I been a survivor?” I learned that day that survivor status is based on the date of your diagnosis because it signifies a new chapter in a person’s life, marked by the challenges and triumphs of living with or beyond cancer. She was impressed by my 10-month journey and excited that I was able to participate. 

However, answering her next question was not as enjoyable. She wanted to know who was walking with me. I glanced away hoping to conceal the tearing up in my eyes as I answered, “No one.” Recognizing my attempt to hide my emotions, she shifted the conversation by saying, “well, today, you are not walking alone because you are surrounded by hundreds of individuals celebrating your and their journey. I immediately perked up and started the 5K walk.

Walking along beautiful Lake Michigan, I was encouraged by volunteers cheering me on and ready to provide Gatorade as needed. There were huge posters with inspiring words from various cancer survivors placed at different sections along the route. As I strolled along at a steady pace, I enjoyed reading each quote until I read one that stopped me dead in my tracks. It read, “When some people get cancer, they start preparing to die, I started living.” I stood there moved to tears thinking the tears I held back at the registration desk finally pushed through. But actually, these were new tears.

These were tears grieving the loss of so many years wasting time dealing with negativity, toxic people, staying in bad situations too long, and keeping unhealthy friendships long beyond their expiration date. I realized that I was not living life abundantly by staying the shadows of the expectations of others instead of doing what truly brought me joy in life. I decided in that brief moment with great determination that whatever time I had left on this earth, I would live being true to myself, make peace with my past, create new dreams to follow, and enjoy the beauty and gift of each new day.

Instead of saying one day I will do something, I decided to make one day, a do it NOW day. Essentially, in the full essence of that inspiring moment, I gave myself permission to live.

Articles

A cancer survivor reflects on their transformative experience participating in Chicago's Annual Cancer Survivor’s Celebration Walk. Initially hesitant due to recent surgery and lack of companionship, the walk becomes a pivotal moment in their recovery journey. The event, filled with supportive volunteers and inspiring quotes, prompts a profound realization about living authentically and embracing life. The survivor resolves to shed negativity, toxic relationships, and societal expectations, choosing instead to pursue joy and personal fulfillment. This newfound perspective marks a significant turning point, empowering them to live life fully and intentionally.

After walking alone in Chicago’s Cancer Survivor’s Walk, I found strength, healing and a renewed commitment to live fully and authentically — starting now.

My Rare Cancer Gave Me Permission to Live

Linda found a cancer community that provided her with hope during her cancer experience. 

A famous quote about there being strength in numbers resonated with me recently. During my wellness journey, I came to fully understand the meaning of this saying.

I was very concerned when my doctor told me he didn’t have another case like mine to benchmark my survival. Having a rare form of an uncommon cancer with limited treatment options and research, I felt alone. I was grateful that a couple of cancer survivors prepared me for my isolation. They told me to expect to lose many friends throughout this journey. Some friends distance themselves because your facing death reminds them of their own immortality, or they don’t know what to say so it’s easier to avoid you. While others don’t want to get closer to you to protect their emotions in case you don’t survive.

I recall that many friends visited me while I was in the hospital but then disappeared during my recovery stage. I grew tired of waiting for remission and I guess did they as well. This discouraging experience led me to seek out additional support.

After much research, I found a support group near my home and decided to attend a meeting. This was difficult because I am not one who is eagerly willing to share health concerns with strangers. Despite my hesitancy, I still went.

I was greeted by the founder of the group who was one of the kindest, warmest and friendliest individuals that I had ever met. Later, I discovered he had survived three forms of cancer and still had a radiant smile and an equally radiant spirit of hope.

While attending this group regularly, I discovered a place where others could relate to my experiences and express unwavering support. Although the participants had different forms of cancer and very distinct challenges, we all shared one common thing and that was a spirit of hope. For this community, fear of cancer was far greater than a fear of losing friendships. Therefore, we were able to bond and support each other through the highs and lows of our cancer journeys. Some survived and some did not, but we all found joy in embracing the “gift of time” often found when time is uncertain.

In the end, I found more than a cancer support group. Instead, I found a group of wonderful friends and a most importantly, a community of hope.

This post was written and submitted by Linda Windham. The article reflects the views of Windham and not of CURE®. This is also not supposed to be intended as medical advice.

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When it comes to life — and cancer — there is strength in numbers. I learned this after joining a cancer support group that offered me hope. 

Linda Windham

My Rare Cancer Gave Me Permission to Live

Finding A Community of Hope in the Midst of Cancer

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