Carrie Corey was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer at age 29 and with a stage 4 recurrence in 2012 at the age of 31. As wife and new mom living in Dallas, she frequently reported on her cancer experiences.

Carrie Corey

Like a lot of parents, I said “DUH!” more than once as I read the results of this 

 about parenting with advanced cancer. Being a parent affects every decision in my life, both big and small. When I’m choosing what to cook for dinner, I question whether Henry will eat my entrée or feed it to the dogs, and when I’m choosing a cancer treatment, I instinctively ask: 

how will this treatment affect my ability to parent? 

Cancer treatments are physically, logistically and emotionally challenging, and when you're a parent, those challenges impact decisions regarding your care. I have to be able to chase my little wild man around the house, and I make that point very clear to my doctors. I don’t have the option to take medicines with side effects that keep me in bed all day.

I also have to worry more about the logistics of treatment — how often do I need to be at the cancer center, and can I drive myself home? When we discovered my stage four breast cancer recurrence, Henry was only three weeks old, and I immediately started weekly chemotherapy infusions. I relied on family members to babysit while I drove myself to chemo appointments, which meant my doctor couldn’t prescribe any medications that might make me drowsy. Babysitters were more important than drivers, so I sacrificed some anti-nausea meds to make it work.

When Henry was an infant, my husband and I decided we were willing to do whatever it took to keep me here, whether it meant travelling to other cancer centers, dealing with unpleasant side effects or asking our family to help. Almost three years later, that same mindset drives our treatment decisions.

As a parent, I want to protect my family at all costs, but unfortunately, cancer is a big nasty force in our life. It is a gut-wrenching feeling, knowing my husband is relying on me to help raise our son, yet my life feels completely out of my control. I vow to do everything in my power to protect them from the heartbreak of losing me, so when deciding between a grueling treatment that gives me more time or an “easier” one that won't, I will always take the hard road. Because if there’s even the slightest chance we can keep my cancer under control long enough for me to see Henry grow up, this mama bear says BRING IT ON!

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Being a parent affects EVERY decision in my life, even the ones regarding my cancer care.

Parenting with Advanced Cancer

This month, breast cancer survivors celebrate their successful completion of treatment with fundraisers and programs focused on awareness, prevention and early detection. But for those of us living with metastatic breast cancer, the primary messages of Breast Cancer Awareness Month remind us that we don't get to celebrate the end of treatment.

While we are grateful for the many good drugs to help manage late stage cancer, no drugs can "cure" metastatic disease, therefore we will be in treatment for life.

Up to 30 percent of patients diagnosed with earlier-stage breast cancer will eventually develop stage 4 breast cancer, meaning their cancer will recur and spread (metastasize) to other areas of the body. Almost three years after my initial stage 2 diagnosis, I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer to the lungs, liver and bones.

So, in the name of breast cancer awareness, here's a crash-course lesson into the exhausting "Scan, Treat and Repeat" cycle of living with stage 4 breast cancer: In May, a scan revealed that my treatment regimen wasn't keeping my breast cancer under control, which meant it was time to find a new drug. First I tried an IV chemotherapy, but it didn't work. Next, I underwent a barrage of baseline scans to enroll in a clinical trial, except I was rejected when they discovered a small metastasis in my brain. Great...because having advanced cancer while raising an active two-year old isn't enough. All I need is another hurdle to jump. Despite the fact it is fairly common for breast cancer to travel to the brain, some trials reject patients who have ever had brain mets, further reducing the number of treatment options available to me. And somewhere in the scramble to find a new medication, the achy bones and arthritic joints that have become part of daily life morphed into severe, debilitating pain.

My sanity depends on my ability to live life in spite of cancer, but the combination of pain and time spent in the doctor's office was making it impossible to do. I had been refusing radiation in hopes the next drug I tried would work quickly enough to relieve the pain, but when pain prevented me from chasing Henry around or getting a decent night's rest, even I had to say uncle.

After a few weeks of radiation, my pain is gone, I'm slowly regaining my energy, and I have started a new drug with minimal side effects. Gamma Knife radiation worked on my brain mets, but we will likely need to treat another spot or two. Stage 4 can be like a game of whack-a-mole: Zap one area, then another one pops up.

Right now, if only for a few short weeks until my next CT scan, life is good. My two favorite guys and I celebrated the end of our tough summer with a week at the beach, playing in the waves and shutting out the rest of the world. Each day I try my best to stay optimistic and assume my new treatment is working, which means I am able to enjoy the life I'm fighting so hard to hold on to.

Carrie Corey was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer at age 29 and with a stage 4 recurrence in 2012 at the age of 31. She is a wife and new mom living in Dallas, and will be reporting frequently on her cancer experiences.

Carrie Corey

Parenting with Advanced Cancer

Living with metastatic disease during Breast Cancer Awareness Month

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