When Is My Cancer Birthday?

As a 16-year breast cancer survivor, I have celebrated my “birthday” each year on April 18. It’s the day I had my radical double mastectomy. That was, after all, the day my cancer was removed. My husband threw me a small party for the first 10 years on April 18. I organized annual celebrations at work on that date, giving colleagues the opportunity to celebrate and remember those they love who have had cancer. I enjoyed saying things like “I’m three years old,” celebrating the increase in age each year.

As time has gone by, however, I have started to wonder if I should change my cancer birthday. My cancer experience is framed within a litany of dates which represent beginnings and endings of diagnosis, surgeries, chemo, Herceptin, radiation and reconstruction. How do I decide which of these dates and events is most significant to celebrate as a birthday? Which is the most pivotal? While each date and event is seared into my identity, I feel the need to choose one as a marker of my experience.

People have been kind and generous throughout these 16 years. I am asked on a regular basis about my cancer survivor date, and I tell them April 18. They seem happy to know that there is a specific date when they can send me a card or wish me well. It feels like this date should be celebratory — a date when I can share with others, and they can share their own or their loved ones’ memories with me in joy and hope for the future. For public sharing, then, I am sticking with April 18.

However, I am coming to realize that my life changed on the day that I learned I had cancer: March 3, 2008. I am a survivor of cancer — of all that goes with cancer — not just a survivor of a surgery. Being diagnosed with cancer began a one-and-a-half-year whirlwind of appointments, treatments, exhaustion and incredible thankfulness to family, friends and the amazing doctors, nurses, tech support and scientists who provided life-saving treatment. I have favorite nurses, doctors and treatment groups, as well as several least-favorite treatments. With more years of experience, I have tried to be an advocate, or at least a support, for others going through cancer. Are all of these memories a result of any particular date of surgery, or date of treatment? I think the answer is only partially. More often lately, I have tied these more specifically to my date of diagnosis. I just can’t get March 3 out of my thoughts. That is when I began to survive cancer.

When is my cancer birthday? I have come to realize that surviving cancer is not based on a single date but is rather an ongoing mix of joy and sorrow, of private and public celebration of hopes and fears. I will have one date (March 3) for my own reflection on how my life changed the moment I received my diagnosis. I will have a second date (April 18) for celebration with family, colleagues, and friends. It's not such a bad idea to have two cancer birthdays!

This post was written and submitted Jana Noel. The article reflects the views of Noel and not of CURE®. This is also not supposed to be intended as medical advice.

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