Tired of Cancer

Editor’s Note: This piece was submitted by a contributing writer and does not represent the views of CURE Media Group.

I'm tired of cancer! The word scares me, makes me angry and makes me cry! My mom died from breast cancer at age 74. That was 13 years ago. It was heartbreaking to watch my mom go through a mastectomy, chemo and radiation! My mom comforted ME when we found out it was terminal! I hope I'm as strong as my mom!

All of us kids were there when she died. She chose a different job for each one of us. My job was spiritual. I sang hymns to her, listened to her talking to Jesus and her deceased siblings. The day she died, she asked me to call my siblings to come to the hospice home. I miss her so much!

Fast forward to 2010. My husband Darron Breckenridge, of only a year and a half, passed away from stage 4 colon cancer. I was his caregiver and trying to work full time! He was only 44 years old! Again I was heartbroken. He was a good man and we loved each other very much. His son and daughter were still in high school. We didn't have much, but we had each other, his kids and my kids, who are adults. His family lived out of state, so everything fell on me, though his dad and stepmom were wonderful! They were present when he died. I cared for him at home until the end.

In 2011, I had to have a hysterectomy due to complex with atypia, the stage before cancer. In December 2016, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I'm having a lumpectomy on Jan. 31, 2017. I have to have radiation. I know the cancer was caught early, thank God, but I'm still scared! I'm going to be a first-time grandma in June 2017, and I want to be around for a long time to watch the grand babies grow up! I also have chronic arthritis, back pain, depression and anxiety.

I have a physically demanding job and I'm scared of my future! I need to get away, someplace warm on a beach before I lose my mind. I live in Wisconsin and this gray dreary weather does not help!