Remembering the Lessons of a Cancer Diagnosis

January 6, 2025
Rachel Martin

Rachel’s first cancer diagnosis was for early-stage DCIS breast cancer in 2005. Her second, more threatening diagnosis came over a decade later for a rare, high-grade, neuroendocrine cancer in her colon that metastasized to her lung. A professional marketer, Rachel is passionate about writing about the impact of cancer and hopes it can help caregivers, family and friends have a better understanding of what life is like as a patient. 

After surviving colon cancer, I reflect on how the lessons from my journey transformed my life and guide me to embrace its beauty.

I’ve hit my five-year mark from my first colon cancer diagnosis. In between has been a surgery, chemotherapy, a metastasis, more surgery and ongoing CT scans, that so far, have delivered promising results.

It’s strange being so far away from the original disease. For the first few years, I was all-consumed as patient and survivor. A day didn’t go by when I wasn’t thinking about cancer or its impact on me. Back then, having cancer defined who I was. Fast forward to today, and cancer represents me differently. I think of survivorship as a facet of who I am, but not me in my entirety. I sometimes look at my surgical scars and remember the pain and hardships I faced, but with distance comes dulling. Any cancer-related pain is completely gone, and the constant fear of recurrence has turned into a muted ache that shows up a few days before an oncoming CT scan appointment.

We humans are amazing for many reasons: our resiliency and ability to move forward from tough times is truly remarkable. During the first few years of my cancer journey, I longed for normalcy and a return to a life before cancer hit. But the fear and remembrance of how cancer impacted me and my family lit a new kind of fire in my belly. One that made me really take a look at how I was spending my time, and for the first time in my life, driving an ability to stop, find joy, enjoy small moments and be truly grateful for the chance to live.

I don’t miss the hardship or the fear that I felt on a regular basis, but I do miss the lessons I learned from facing my mortality that transformed me from someone who simply managed her day-to-day, to a person who could truly embrace the gift of life. My challenge now is that while I’m stable and everything is back to “normal,” I find myself worrying about the stuff that really doesn’t matter. And I am trying very hard to reinvigorate the ability to let go of the minutiae and really take notice of the beauty and wonder that I get to see every day.

While I never want to go back, and pray that I never get cancer again, I miss the spark that cancer gave me to live my life differently than I had been. I’m now soul searching for those reminders of how I really want to live, and how to worry less and embrace the beauty of my one wild and precious life.

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