Lessening My Apprehension Using Meditation During Lung Cancer

Here are some methods that helped me lessen the apprehension I experienced in my lung cancer journey.

In the chemotherapy phase during the fall of 2018, I began my meditation practice. Mindfulness is the state of being developed by meditation, which I continued to practice daily. Six years later, my mindfulness continues to grow.

Being able to wait in peace during the testing, analysis and treatment for cancer is challenging at best and certainly doesn’t develop overnight. Last weekend, I spoke with a long-term acquaintance who has become a close friend. Her recent mammogram revealed an irregularity. Despite taking the first available appointment for her follow-up mammogram and ultrasound, she still had to wait 2 1/2 weeks to go back. My friend was struggling with the waiting and anxiety, ever-present. I had an idea. Maybe I could best help her by going back and reviewing what had helped me. I’m happy to share my experiences with you as well.

My middle daughter, who I nicknamed my social worker at the time, visited me at home after my first chemotherapy treatment for stage 3B lung cancer. Almost two weeks after my drug cocktail infusions, I was still extremely fatigued. I had a hard time even getting dressed in casual clothes before her arrival. However, that day led me, albeit indirectly, to a much improved mental and emotional outlook: first, in my cancer experience, and eventually in my life in general. My daughter and I explored possible wellness techniques before focusing on meditation and mindfulness. She then helped me install an app on my phone which I have used faithfully ever since.

I started on my meditation practice, and then on the days I felt up to it. A foundation of meditation and mindfulness is the concept that everything in nature, and therefore, in life, is constantly changing — our thoughts and feelings included. When we feel worry, joy, sadness, fear, anger or another emotion, our minds can hold on or let go when the thought or feeling is no longer useful. With a focus on deep breathing, listening to nature sounds or visualizing smiling faces, meditation can enable us to replace worry or anger with peace or joy.

Meditation has worked so well for me. However, meditation is not for everyone: some may prefer prayer, getting comfortable in a rocking chair or even chewing gum.

Because the preliminary diagnosis of my lung cancer occurred as an incidental finding, I felt additional confusion and frustration. I doubted any connection between the probable seizure I had backing out of my driveway and cancer, but I absolutely wanted to get myself away from the discouragement I was feeling. My husband and I decided to go on a short, spontaneous vacation. We visited two nearby national parks, stopping at my sister’s home on the way back. The time we spent in nature was calming and helped me clear my mind. By the time we returned home, I was absolutely ready to see my primary care physician. Getting away from it all really helped me.

As I began to notice the difference between my mind at rest and my mind busy, I was able to gently say “No thank you” to negative anxious thoughts that would run around in my mind as I waited for difficult doctor appointments or CT scans. Certainly, everything didn’t change overnight, but things got better.

I was beginning to see how thinking, “You have to stop worrying,” didn’t enable me to stop worrying but to settle my mind on a recent positive experience or nice message I had received did bring peace to my mind.

My lung surgeon was helpful to me in making sure I didn't ever forget that my outlook always had a significant effect on my treatment outcomes. Dr. L gave me that message very early in my journey. I reminded myself of his words over and over throughout its duration. His information was invaluable to me; it encouraged me in many and varied ways, and over time I learned to effectively encourage myself.

Here are 10 methods I used to remain calm and peaceful:

1. By surrounding myself with empathetic people, I learned how much difference it can make to live in an environment where people care about one another.
2. By walking in my neighborhood, I thought, just keep feeling my body move; don’t dwell on emotions or thoughts.
3. I used journaling to express my thoughts and feelings; I reread my writing and was often pleasantly surprised by how realistic and confident I sounded a few days later.
4. Listening to Christian contemporary music brought me joy and peace.
5. Keep as active as possible. I have a home-based tutoring business, and often, while in cancer treatment, the money I earned was less significant than the uplift I sensed in being a part of the working world.
6. In time, I was able to trust myself as I was able to make decisions about my health care, and later distinguish between a variety of good choices.
7. I thought I would be more likely to survive stage 3B lung cancer because I hadn’t smoked…I was generally healthier. I decided to make even more healthy choices: eating an improved selection of meat and fish, fruits and vegetables, dairy products and healthy carbohydrates. I started going to bed earlier.
8. Joining a support group was so good for me. Being together with others on cancer journeys, similar to and different from mine; it was so comfortable to share and we helped each other immensely.
9. It’s something that’s been hard for me, but setting boundaries allowed me to put myself in positions where I could focus as much as possible on my physical health and my mental, emotional and spiritual health.
10. Holding on to an attitude of gratitude. Especially when I had been quite ill or I was feeling discouraged and frustrated, it was so rewarding to focus on what good had happened that day or that week.

Once when I returned home from a diagnostic appointment, I turned on the local TV news, and heard the meteorologist say, “We’ll have some rain, but the forecast looks worse than it is.” What a perfect analogy for what I was feeling.

And whenever I felt anxious or frustrated, I turned to this well-known prayer.

The Serenity Prayer

God, grant me the Serenity to Accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference.

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