Finding Gratitude and Love for Cancer Patients and Caregivers

When I was diagnosed with a brain tumor in 1998, my mind went into chaos. Afraid of my mortality, I eventually learned that the vision of living a long life was meaningful. This experience taught me to embrace uncertainty in new directions. Facing adversity required action and resilience, shared in science and stories. Ultimately, purpose, thankfulness, and gratitude helped me discover heartfelt abundance and strength, even during difficult times.

No doubt, many cancer patients over my 27-plus years in my journey showed me that too many people die. This is tragic. Yet I saw the beauty in the bold sadness. Each person has a story to tell. I had to see the reality in my heart that not everyone dies in their 70s, 80s, or 90s. Despite my pain for those who are no longer here, I know they are still present with others on this Earth.

My gratitude comes in many aspects of life. Being kind to human beings sparks my gratitude. When it occurs, I feel connected to a source larger than myself. Human connection is key to feeling that we are not alone. Too often, disconnection has serious consequences for physical and mental health, including low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, weakened immune system, emotional detachment, and other challenges, according to the Centers for Disease Control and other sources.

I was only 24 years old when I entered the brain tumor world. I recall sharing my situation with my parents over the course of many years. Too often, I needed their help and was grateful for their support. As I am older, I feel sadness for what they have dealt with in my path, including 3 awake brain surgeries in 1998, 2011, and 2013, radiation and oral chemotherapy in 2014, an immunotherapy clinical trial with a dendritic cell-based vaccine in 2014, learning I had a genetic mutation from family history in 2018, and other treatments in 2020 and 2022 with endometrial surgeries and a hysterectomy. My parents are much older now, and they have physical struggles at times. Sometimes I have needs. It is a complicated dynamic, with its own challenges and those of my own. I learned that love is a powerful force for understanding and deep presence.

Sometimes mothers and daughters have funks in life, with or without cancer. I strive to give love and gratitude to my mom and dad. When I had my treatments in 2013 and 2014, my parents left their home in New Jersey and lived in Los Angeles, close to where I resided. Despite difficult times, my experience with my parents transformed me into a person with more love and gratitude. And since my dad and I were not always close, many aspects of our relationship changed with new loving connections. Everyone has their own cancer journey. I continue to be grateful for my relationship with my parents, even if I screw up. But that viewpoint has given me more clarity. When I track my ego, I see the bigger picture, including freedom within myself and the ability to see more love.

I recently attended a Brain Fest event, exploring various challenges and available resources. Maria Shriver led the way, drawing on her experiences as a caregiver to her parents, including Alzheimer’s for her dad, and other aspects in her advocacy, including books. Emma Heming Willis also attended as an advocate for her husband, Bruce Willis, with frontotemporal dementia, and her new book, The Unexpected Journey. Whether it is cancer or other diseases, approximately 63 million Americans are family caregivers, and significant struggles show physical, emotional, and financial challenges with their responsibilities. The joint report from the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) and the National Alliance for Caregiving (NAC) also emphasized that one in four American adults is a caregiver, with 59 million caring for adults and 4 million caring for children under 18 with an illness or disability. These demographics have increased from 2015 to 2025, and more support is required.

Research shows siblings do not often care for cancer survivors. Studies revealed that only about 2.9% to 13.3% of informal caregivers were siblings, according to the National Institutes of Health and other places.

I know my parents have given a tremendous amount of their love, gratitude, money, time, and other ways to support me. My goal is to give back more to them. I love them immensely, and I hope they see my gratitude to them. Even if my expression cannot be understood, I extend my heart to them always.

This piece reflects the author’s personal experience and perspective. For medical advice, please consult your health care provider.

For more news on cancer updates, research and education, don’t forget to subscribe to CURE®’s newsletters here.