A Stranger Who Became a Friend

Where should I start? I guess I'll start with my first memory of you. I had just been diagnosed with breast cancer and was on Facebook looking to join breast cancer groups. I had no idea what I was facing and needed some support. I don't remember which one I met you on, but you took the time to answer one of my posts, and not only that, you offered to come and visit me. You said you'd help me understand some of the things that I was going to be facing. I was both excited and nervous to get your response. I don't normally meet with strangers, and I was scared.

You weren't able to come until a few days after I'd had surgery. I remember when the doorbell rang I was so embarrassed. I didn't want you to see me with the Jackson Pratt drains dangling from my neck. They were so ugly, and my wounds were so raw, but you said you didn't care. You'd already been through that. You knew what they were, drainage tubes that pulled fluid and blood away from the wounds.

Within just a few minutes of talking with you, I felt completely at ease. You smiled a big smile and gave me a bear hug. It was so nice to have an instant friend, one who understood the things I couldn't say.

I wasn't sure at that time whether I would go through with reconstruction surgery as my breast surgeon advised, and I told you so. You threw your head back and laughed. You even offered to show me your “Foobs,” as you called them, fake boobs. You told me they were great and that I'd get a free tummy tuck too. You wanted me to know what they might look like if I decided to go forward with surgery. I said, “Thanks, but no thanks.” Though I didn't explain, I think you understood I was afraid to look at them. I was afraid seeing them would freak me out.

I don't remember how long you stayed that first visit, but the day seemed to last forever. When it was time for you to go, you promised to come back again soon. I was thankful.

Since that first meeting over 11 years ago, we've done our best to keep up, but often life gets in the way. I love it when we find time to meet for lunch. It's so nice to talk freely, sharing our hopes, fears and dreams. Those times are rare because of conflicting schedules. Thankfully, we can touch base through social media or quick texts. But after each contact, I want more. It's almost like you're a drug, and I need a fix. You're so strong in your cancer walk, and I'm still figuring things out.

One of the things I love most about you is your attitude of gratitude. You've taught me to look for things each day that I can be thankful for, and that has helped me develop a spirit of positivity.

When I look at you, dear friend, I don't see a breast cancer survivor, I see a thriver. I see a brave woman on the outside. I see a woman who is a world traveler, a person who never meets a stranger, and a person who always loves. You give so much of yourself to each who meet you.

None of us know what the future holds, but we know who holds the future. I pray that you will always be safe in your travels, that you will always know you are loved, and that you will always have the opportunity to share your story with others.

You are a blessing, and it is my honor to call you friend.

With love,
Bonnie

This piece reflects the author’s personal experience and perspective. For medical advice, please consult your health care provider.

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