A Lighthearted Look at Breast Cancer Freedom

Going through breast cancer has pushed me to do things I never thought I would. A significant part of that newfound freedom comes from the influence of a famous icon and fellow breast cancer survivor, Kathy Bates.

My youngest daughter has witnessed how drastically my life has changed since my breast cancer diagnosis. She has seen my struggles to find and accept this new season of life. Sometimes, she has had to witness moments I wish she hadn’t, like when I lie on the floor of my closet in tears because I can’t find a blouse that camouflages my breastlessness, or when I throw something across the room out of sheer frustration. Throughout it all, she has made it clear that I don’t have to pretend around her; I can be myself, and that’s what I’ve tried to do.

I cherish the moments when she finds YouTube videos she thinks will help lift my spirits. Occasionally, I discover something in my inbox from her, and I offer up a prayer of gratitude. She truly gets me. In contrast, my other children seem to struggle to understand what living past breast cancer is like. They adopt a more serious attitude and attempt to “sweep my outbursts under the rug,” pretending they don’t exist. However, the frustrations of dealing with breast cancer—both during and after treatment—are real, and survivors have every right to feel them.

Recently, my youngest sent me a message through Facebook Messenger that included a lip sync battle from Jimmy Kimmel’s Saturday Night Live spoofs. When I opened it, I immediately smiled. The star of the battle was Kathy Bates, one of my favorite actresses and a breast cancer icon. Although I had only seen one or two lip sync battles in the past, I always found them amusing as actors tried to “out-sing” the original artists. The skits provide a good dose of laughter and always brighten my day.

In this specific lip sync battle, Kathy Bates strides onto the stage wearing dark sunglasses, a fur coat, and a stylish fedora, exuding confidence. As Bruno Mars' song “That’s What I Like” starts playing, the audience erupts with excitement. The cheering reaches its peak as she sheds the coat, revealing a button-down leopard print shirt, a dazzling piece of jewelry, and her braless self. I must admit, my jaw dropped when I realized she had the courage to perform without prostheses! To this day, I still struggle with the confidence to go anywhere without my fake breasts. Yet Kathy owned the stage, dancing joyfully as the song played, while the crowd cheered her on.

While the song is undoubtedly uplifting, Kathy offered much more than just that. She brought her authentic self—warts and all, or in this case, breastlessness and everything cancer had taken from her.

Oh, to have the bravery that this wonderful woman displayed on stage! I would give anything to experience that kind of joy and carefree attitude in front of a crowd.

I’ve watched the video my daughter sent about ten times now, and each time, I smile even more than before. I can’t get enough of it.

Many may not realize all that Ms. Bates has been through in her life, but I do. I have followed her career closely for years. Not only have I enjoyed every one of her movies, but I’ve also admired how she has overcome one challenge after another.

As breast cancer survivors, we need icons like Ms. Bates to remind us that life is worth living, and that we can be brave in a world that often struggles to accept those of us who have chosen to forego breast reconstruction. Women can empower each other to do things we never thought we could achieve, and I must applaud Ms. Bates for reminding me that I have the power. As Glenda, the Good Witch, said to Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, “…My dear, you’ve had the power all along.”

I hope that one day my granddaughters will look up to me the way I look up to Kathy Bates, and that a smile will spread across their faces with pride as they say, “That’s my grandma! Look at her go!” And if they happen to see me doing something without my prostheses, I hope they’ll appreciate it and applaud even louder, recognizing that it took immense courage to embrace such moments with sheer abandon.

This piece reflects the author’s personal experience and perspective. For medical advice, please consult your health care provider.

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