Stephanie Hammonds is a survivor of ovarian cancer and was first diagnosed in 2009. She is involved with various cancer-related speaking engagements, including with the Ovarian Cancer National Alliance's Survivors Teaching Students Program®. She is a life-long artist, freelance writer, lover of Italian cooking, mom and grandmom.

Stephanie Hammonds

Over the past eight years, I’m met and spoken to many others who have had a cancer diagnosis and gone on to have various treatments. The appointments, tests, medications, infusions, scans and so forth are necessary, but time-consuming. At times, it seems like one's life is spent in a whirlwind of tests and appointments, follow-ups and consultations. What comes along to help break up this almost never-ending time-saturation of doctors, clinics, hospitals and illness?

For many dealing with cancer, it’s a matter of using their own coping skills. Some of us have extended families, children and grandchildren, as well as a wide circle of friends and co-workers to bolster them up and find ways to shift the thought process from illness back to BC (before cancer).

Support groups and meetings can help by fostering relationships with others who are experiencing the same or similar situations. Many will join and attend, enjoying the camaraderie with others and find these groups a real oasis of help and friendship in the desert of their illness. They can help with the feelings of isolation and sadness many feel when dealing with cancer alone.

Some like to travel. They book short and long trips both: to other states, counties, cities and countries. They take their time to travel to enjoy unique experiences, leaving cancer behind for a few weeks and enjoying the exhilaration of seeing and learning about new cultures, other languages, trying new foods and just enjoying life by talking to new acquaintances, taking in the sights and sounds, leaving little time for thinking about illness. A new "perspective" may emerge.

Patients do volunteer work. The enjoyment they experience in helping others gives them purpose, a sense of usefulness and just plain joy.  

Those who had meaningful hobbies and interests prior to the time-consuming care that cancer takes, might find that these interests have taken a “back seat.” Now is the time to resume hobbies and favorite endeavors, as they can be the key to help keep our minds calm and focused.

Writing, creative crafts, painting, music, reading, puzzles, yard sale-ing, gardening, house projects, sewing, cooking, whatever you enjoyed up until now…keep it going.

If entertaining was your thing, but having a large group over is overwhelming, try two or three guests for a small tea party. Can’t manage heavy yard work? Herb pot gardening has become very popular.

I'm a trained artist. I keep up with my artwork: illustration and painting. It means the world to me. I bring sketchbook and pencils to my infusions and draw as much as possible through the process. Sometimes, while patients wait for appointments, I notice others knitting and reading.

Keeping minds focused this way isn’t for everyone, because we're all different; our coping mechanisms are diverse; we are all unique individuals after all.

I believe that our interests and coping skills keep us going, and when we keep going, it helps bolster up our spirit. And I believe that we need plenty of personal spirit to live with cancer. 

Articles

Coping with cancer and treatments looks different for everyone.

Coping With Cancer: One Size Does Not Fit All

I recently had the experience of going to an American Cancer Society-sponsored “Look Good Feel Better” workshop, which included a program on how to use makeup and skincare products to cope with the many side effects which cancer and its treatment seems to inflict on us. The workshop includes instruction and a free cosmetic kit with a useful assortment of items geared to your skin shade/ type.

So, let’s begin at the beginning. Going on the premise that we are ordinary women with average expectations, what can we actually get from attending one of these sessions? Will we go in looking OK and come out looking...glam? Is this a makeover clinic? We’ve all been through a lot with our health. Could a morning at a workshop help?

Speaking for myself, I am so impressed with these workshops in so many ways that I decided to write about it in case there is a woman who has experienced cancer treatment and isn’t sure if she should schedule a spot in one of these sessions. My advice is yes, please do take the time and do go.

The volunteer beauty professional I met led the “class” in a particularly knowledgeable, kind and generous way; she really understood the challenges of cancer, the illness and what it does to skin, hair, eyebrows, scalps, lashes and so forth. She spoke on various topics, including not only skin and cosmetics, but also wigs and scarf-wrapping for those who need head covering advice. She answered questions thoughtfully and patiently.

Like so many others who’ve been treated for cancer, I've been exposed to various medications and lost my hair, eyelashes and brows; my skin has become alternatively flushed or very pale, and I’ve looked tired, gaunt or washed-out. Dark circles have plagued me along with lack-luster coloring.

If any of this sounds familiar, it’s part of litany of personal complaints, but how much time and effort should I or could I afford to spend on fixing myself up, and was there an easier way to pull myself up by the bootstraps and try to look a little more enlivened, and maybe even (hopefully) possibly a bit.... healthier or, more like…myself?

As it turns out, a couple of hours spent at a Look Good Feel Better group program is totally time well- spent. A new shade of lipstick, a splash of blush, advice on how to cope with those tired eye circles, apply a little highlighter, fix missing brows or growing in mischief hair can really perk up a mood. Being with other women who face the same issues is a marvelous way to just be yourself, relax and enjoy the camaraderie! The cosmetic bag filled with super nice products was really like Christmas morning. There were lots of wonderful things to try, and with the expert instructor’s assistance there could be no wrong moves, only terrific outcomes. We didn’t have to go to Disneyland; we were Cinderellas...all of us.

Some may have arrived a bit reluctant, a little undecided, maybe a little skeptical. Things changed. I saw so much happiness in the participants at the close of the program; I couldn’t see anyone who wasn’t in an uplifted frame of mind. There were compliments all around, happiness, plenty of smiles and a few giggles echoing in the room. The stress of having cancer melted away...just a little...and it felt good.

It's a fabulous experience. When a workshop is offered in your area, please go. A little pampering goes a long way. Meeting others who are coping like yourself goes even further. You will feel so much better when you look good. Check out the American Cancer Society’s website for further details. 

Can an American Cancer Society workshop help women with cancer look and feel better?

With Cancer, Could I Feel Better if I Look Good?

September has always been my favorite month. Looking forward to the start of a new school year, great weather, crunchy leaves and cool, back-to-school clothes was always pretty exciting.

And now, September has taken on a new meaning: it’s Ovarian Cancer Month, a time to reflect on life and celebrate my good fortune to have had access to ovarian cancer treatment.

As I reflect, I don’t dwell on negatives, get angry or blame anyone. I don’t curse my bad luck, lousy genes or the family tree.

After my diagnosis in 2009, I had a serious operation to remove tumors (believe me, “debulking” is not a bad word) and then chemotherapy to help capture errant cells. It was a journey along a road I was unfamiliar with, but a necessary one.  

I’ve met women who have had similar operations and treatment; many are still working and still caring for families. Some have been celebrating their survivorship for several years. It’s a huge accomplishment dealing with any type of cancer because, let’s face it, a cancer diagnosis is tough. Thanks to my support group, it’s been a journey I’ve taken with ladies who have been down the same roads I have been. We find strength in each other. We celebrate together.

I’ve seen or heard many ovarian cancer clichés which serve to hurt our cause and perhaps even discourage or frighten others. Maybe it’s the reputation from years ago. We’re hoping that ovarian cancer outreach will bring about better outcomes. Rather than repeat the “gloom and doom” with outdated clichés and operative scary "horror” stories, I feel it’s better to get involved with working on the solutions. I do my part, along with others, by speaking to medical students about early signs and symptoms.  It’s very empowering to help the cause, and the students learn from us as real cancer patients who are able to answer their questions and put a face on an illness.

Oncology researchers are coming up with new medicines, protocols and clinical trials. I bow to those who take part in the clinical trials so that others may benefit in the future. Genetic testing is a huge part of all this research. Let’s applaud and celebrate all the inroads made in slowing down the negatives in ovarian cancer.

Let’s celebrate how much has been achieved, and continue to stand up to ovarian cancer and all GYN cancers. Let's hope for and look forward to a better prognosis for all cancer patients.

I still love the month of September, only more so in the last few years. The leaves are prettier, the weather is more crisp and lovely, and a cool, new outfit is still something to look forward to.

I’ve had some of my greatest accomplishments in my art, classes I’ve taken, my associations and writing projects since 2009; it seems cancer has spurred me on.

And, a few short years ago, I discovered my newfound favorite quote from Horace Mann, the late Massachusetts educator:

“Let us not be content to wait and see what will happen, but give us the determination to make the right things happen.” 

Hammonds discusses how she leaves the scary stuff behind and focuses, instead, on the good stuff after ovarian cancer.

A Positive Take on Ovarian Cancer Month

Usually, when a person is diagnosed with cancer and then doesn’t succumb to it, they most likely become known as a “survivor.” This term is applied to men and women, young and old, with all types of cancer and all stages, too. It’s been applied to friends, strangers, celebrities and to myself. I’m not sure it fits. I’m not sure it suits me.

I’ve had stage 3 ovarian cancer since 2009, so right now, today, I have survived it. But am I a “survivor”?

First and foremost, what is a survivor? Throughout all these years, I haven’t been certain, so I did a bit of English Dictionary research on the term to try to sort this out and perhaps discover why it’s used so often to describe someone who has been able to live through one or more cancer bouts.

In the most usual definition, a “survivor” is, “a person who survives, especially a person remaining alive after an event in which others have died.”

This makes sense to me when it’s used to describe events like the passengers on the RMS Titanic who were found in the North Atlantic and brought back to dry land to live out their lives. They were survivors.

Although it’s a bit complicated, I haven’t felt like using that term to describe myself. It just doesn’t seem to be my right fit.

So, knowing that definition, I feel pretty well apart from it.

Although many have experienced cancer, we are all different, as are our cancers. For instance, there are several types of ovarian cancer. We have different immune systems, health conditions apart from cancer, ages, outlooks and treatment options. And so much impacts cancer recovery and the recurrence. I guess I could say I don’t feel confident enough to feel that I’m “back on dry land.”

So, according to the strict definition of the word “survivor,” I feel as though there are just too many differences for us to be grouped together with that one word. Others may disagree, because in the broadest sense, survivor is useful if we’re comparing those who have carried on after such a severe illness.

Maybe a better definition of “survivor,” for some, is option no. 2: a person “who copes well with difficulties in their life.” That one sounds more like me. Coping with life, yes, I’ve done pretty well with that category.

And I have one more thought on this survivorship subject. My mother lived to be 99 years old. If I can live to be her age, and not die from cancer, I’ll really feel like a survivor. 

I’m not sure that’s the right term. Do I have a choice?

Stephanie Hammonds

Coping With Cancer: One Size Does Not Fit All

With Cancer, Could I Feel Better if I Look Good?

A Positive Take on Ovarian Cancer Month

Am I a Cancer Survivor?

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