Natasha is a cancer survivor and a physician. She was diagnosed with breast cancer after her very first screening mammogram in 2018. She is active in the cancer support community and leads a local networking and support group for young breast cancer survivors, in addition to being a peer mentor for other people who have been diagnosed with breast cancer. She has given presentations on cancer survivorship and continues to look for ways to be active in the cancer community.

In her free time, she enjoys traveling (especially to tropical destinations), watching sunsets, and cooking.

Natasha Carlson

Natasha is a cancer survivor and a physician. She was diagnosed with breast cancer after her very first screening mammogram in 2018. Catch up on all of 

Many people who have experienced cancer speak about the profound effect it has had on nearly every aspect of the rest of their lives. I personally have found this to be true as well. I was recently reminded of this when an unexpected life event occurred that had a similar jarring effect on me, one that was very reminiscent of the chaos and disruption that a cancer diagnosis causes.

When I was diagnosed with cancer, my life was upended. The fear and uncertainty about the future dominated every moment. It seemed to take forever to reach a point where the idea of cancer wasn’t woven into every single thought. Should I plan that vacation for next year – what if I need more surgery again? Can I make this commitment to that project right now, or should I not even consider this because I don’t want to let people down? 

Eventually, those sharp edges that poked into my psyche softened and smoothed out as acceptance slowly took over. But this did not happen overnight, and in fact, seemed to take far too long. The near-constant heightened anxiety and hypervigilance that is a common reaction to cancer seemed to permeate into all aspects of my life. 

It was only after months, maybe years, that the gift of perspective was able to reshape my perception and understanding of this experience. Now, as time has gone by, I understand that the unexpected and unwelcome events that life throws at us may be frightening and anxiety-provoking, but there is a degree of control that can be regained in how we react to them.

After a recent sudden and very unwelcome change at work (something akin to a corporate restructuring and across-the-board belt-tightening), one that will definitely impact the trajectory of my career, my instinctive reaction was one of anger, betrayal, sadness and grief. I found these powerful negative emotions to be real, raw, human – and familiar. They were very reminiscent of how I felt immediately after my diagnosis. Back then, I was angry that this had happened, angry that I had to put my everything in my life on hold, angry at my body for what I perceived as a betrayal. 

There was absolutely a grieving period as I had to come to grips with losing my illusion of health and the reshaping of my own body image as I had to endure repeated surgeries. But the familiarity of the emotional rollercoaster did provide a somewhat unanticipated benefit. I knew that no matter how difficult this was going to be, I would get through it. I was able to temper my reaction, or at least shorten the duration of my denial, and remember that although we can never control everything in life, there is empowerment and peace that is found by controlling the things that we can control. This includes how I react to situations that are unanticipated, stressful and unwelcome. 

Though I am still currently in the thick of the work drama that hit me like an oncoming train, I still hope that the lessons learned from a cancer diagnosis can apply here too, and that perhaps I might come out the other side of this with fewer scars this time, as I am now older, wiser and more resilient to the detours that life takes when we least expect it.

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Articles

Experiencing cancer profoundly impacts one's life, creating a pervasive sense of fear and uncertainty. Over time, acceptance and perspective can reshape this experience, allowing individuals to regain control over their reactions to life's unexpected challenges. A recent career upheaval evoked familiar emotions of anger and grief, reminiscent of a cancer diagnosis. However, the familiarity of these emotions provided a sense of resilience and empowerment. By controlling reactions to unforeseen events, individuals can find peace and navigate life's detours with greater wisdom and resilience.

Lessons I learned from a cancer diagnosis have been applied in some surprising and seemingly unrelated aspects of my life.

How Breast Cancer Taught Me Resilience in Unexpected Life Challenges

Lately, I’ve been thinking back to the moment I was diagnosed with breast cancer. For me, this was one of the more traumatic moments in my life, as it is for so many people. Part of the trauma was simply being diagnosed with cancer, but part of it was how I found out.

I vividly remember having two biopsies at the clinic on a Thursday afternoon. The nurse navigator explained that she expected that the pathology results likely wouldn’t be back until Monday. I was (somewhat) prepared and expected to wait over the weekend for the results — that excruciating wait.

However, because they had set the expectation that I would not have results until Monday, I missed the phone call the following day when I was at work. The nurse navigator's voicemail told me that they happened to rush the results, and she had news for me. She would be there until 4:15 p.m., according to the voicemail. I called the second I heard the message — at 4:16 p.m. She had already left for the weekend.

So now I was faced with this dilemma. There was no one I could talk to until Monday (which is what I initially expected), but because I 

 that the results were back, I couldn’t imagine waiting. I happen to work for the hospital where I had my biopsy done, which meant that I had direct access to my chart. Not the patient portal, but direct access to the entire chart (employees are allowed to simply view their own charts). This was also at a time before results were automatically posted to the patient portal, so there was quite literally no other option for me to find out results at that time.

After a few hours of reflection, while still trying to finish my shift at work, I found an empty office and I opened my chart. Although I work in the medical field, I certainly do not deal with pathology results regularly. But I knew enough to interpret the word “carcinoma.”

It’s strange —part of that day is indelibly seared into my memory, but there are other parts that I have no memory of whatsoever. I do remember telling my husband. I don’t remember finishing my shift, although I did do that. I don’t remember the drive home. I do remember that no one on my care team was available to talk to me or answer any questions over the weekend. Of course, it can be argued that I was in this situation because I chose to look at the results on my own. This is true. Part of this was my fault.

I still don’t know which would have been less traumatic: finding out and waiting all weekend without anyone on my care team to talk to; or waiting all weekend, agonizing over what the results might be, just biding my time for Monday morning to come to make that phone call.

Regardless, that moment is now forever a defining period of my life and helped shape what came after. I didn’t have anyone to lean on (again, partly my fault). But as a result, now I make it a priority to be there for those who are newly diagnosed with cancer and to help in any way I can, trying to ensure that no one experiences cancer alone.

Receiving a diagnosis of breast cancer was one of the more traumatic moments I’ve experienced, but the way I found out added to that.  

How I Found Out About My Breast Cancer Diagnosis 

I have written before about the importance of community among those of us with cancer. A sense of belonging, of “sameness,” of understanding by virtue of shared circumstances. Many of us have had the experience of trying to explain something about an aspect of cancer to a friend or loved one and being wholly unsuccessful in that attempt. Trying to communicate the particular challenges of having a serious illness like cancer to someone who has not faced this is a very frustrating and exhausting exercise at times. Sometimes you really do have to go through an experience personally in order to truly “get it.”

I have been the volunteer state leader for a group of young breast cancer survivors for the past four years. I discovered great solace in this group when I was going through my breast cancer experience, and it was so valuable to me that I decided to pay it forward and ultimately take over organization and leadership for the group. It is in this capacity that I have found some incredibly fulfilling experiences.

For instance, during one recent support meeting, we had two new members join us. Both of them were in their thirties, and both had stage 4 breast cancer. As so many of us can attest, it is unusual to find someone close to our age with cancer (hence the purpose of the group specifically designed for young survivors), and even more unusual to find someone with metastatic cancer. One had just been diagnosed de novo (first occurrence of cancer), and the other had been living with metastatic disease for almost two years. Both of them were feeling terrified, isolated and misunderstood, silently struggling. Neither of them knew anyone else in their circumstances. As is typical for these support meetings, we started out by sharing our own stories with the group and then opening it up for questions, opportunities to vent, cry or reflect as necessary. When these two women, who were previously strangers to one another, realized that they shared a connection that so many other people will (fortunately) never have, it was like a weight had been lifted from them. To see them huddling together after the meeting, eagerly exchanging phone numbers, was utterly heartwarming, even if it also came with a bit of heartache.

Now these two women had someone else who could realistically empathize with their experiences, and a built-in support system in times of need. This is the importance of a cancer community.

With the advent of technology, virtual connectedness is now available at the tap of a screen. Online connection via social media groups, blogs and vlogs, Zoom meetings, informational and support webinars are easily accessible, and these are vital components of providing cancer support. However, there is still something about having a real-life human connection which is a crucial element, a tool which helps us learn how to cope and calm the rising tide of chaos and fear that we know all too well. Fostering these connections is the very reason why the cancer community exists — and will continue to provide a space for support and understanding for those who need it most.

Being a part of the cancer community means meeting new people, forming personal friendships and fostering those connections for others.

The Importance of Having a Cancer Community

I have learned that there are many things that change after being diagnosed with cancer. Of course, there are the obvious changes: a sudden realization that health is not guaranteed and a shift to a different mindset of being a patient, learning about the diagnosis and what needs to happen from that moment forward.

Many people find that cancer tends to rob them of very important things, like health, contentment, security and happiness. But one of the under-recognized elements that a cancer diagnosis sometimes steals from us is the very important ability to live in the present.

After a jolting diagnosis, it can be quite difficult to deliberately and mindfully live each day in the here and now. All too often, even well after cancer treatment is complete, our thoughts tend to wander. Certainly, there is the very understandable tendency to ponder the future. 

How will my diagnosis affect my future? Will I be able to do the things that I always envisioned that I would be able to? Do I have the time that I expected to accomplish my goals and enjoy my life?

 These are questions considered at one time or another. For me, despite my very good prognosis, relatively speaking, these questions still were at the forefront of my mind. This is, of course, quite natural in these circumstances. Especially in the period following diagnosis and during treatment, these thoughts tend to be very prominent.

However, there can also be what I tend to refer to as the “quicksand of the past,” which is the trauma of a cancer diagnosis, a complete upheaval of the comfortable trajectory of life, and a very-much-unwanted propensity to return to that jarring and emotionally damaging moment in time when one’s life was forever changed at the time of diagnosis. The disturbing and repeated thoughts about cancer tend to breed anxiety, stress and doubt.

The end result of this can be that cancer — even a past cancer diagnosis that is not a current active medical issue — has a tendency steal someone’s ability to live in the present and enjoy life here and now. For instance, it is extremely difficult to enjoy pivotal family moments if celebrating birthdays or holidays dredge up thoughts of how cancer stole these in previous years, or if there is overarching anxiety about this potentially happening again. The quicksand can rapidly smother current happiness and joy. I have heard these stories over and over among my cancer support group.

Certainly, recognizing this is the first step in trying to combat this tendency. Being aware of this and very intentionally trying to reframe the situation is necessary to prevent the mental slippery slope back into this destructive emotional vortex. Cancer steals too much from us as it is, so being diligent in not allowing it to take away more moments, more security and more joy, is truly worth the effort.

While I have a good prognosis, I still sometimes find myself in cancer’s quicksand of the past, pulling me out of current moments of joy. 

Natasha Carlson

How Breast Cancer Taught Me Resilience in Unexpected Life Challenges

How I Found Out About My Breast Cancer Diagnosis

The Importance of Having a Cancer Community

Cancer’s Quicksand of the Past

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