Mary A. Ohara

A melanoma survivor, Ohara found a purpose to keep her going. 

When you have cancer, and you are worried about dying, something fundamentally changes inside. You may survive, but you are forever changed inside — you lose that irrational sense of immortality that we have when we are young — before life and aging reminds you that death will come. This loss can be devastating, leaving a gap, as you learn to go on, one day at a time, with a bit less confidence in what the future will be. You do go on, but it is never the same.

With eyes that sparkled, a smile that blinded

Contagious laughter; a soul that was free

You burst into life, and blew off the doors

No one could miss you, your passion so bright

At first it was nothing, no worries, no fear

You tried to fight it and keep yourself strong

The challenge before you seemed so unfair

You hadn’t lived; you’d much left to do

What you didn’t see was what you had done

You’ve done your fight and given your best

Sleep well my darling; you’ve earned your rest.

I am a stage 3 melanoma survivor. About 16 years ago, I worked with a group to raise money for melanoma awareness and research. The group was initially conceived of by a young woman battling stage 4 melanoma. Michelle Rigney wanted to make a difference — pushing for awareness, research, support, etc. as the battle against melanoma was so difficult at that time. She lost that battle, passing before our first major event in 2008 — and I wrote this poem for her after her death. The group, Moving for Melanoma of Delaware (cofounded by Anna Marie Farro), raised almost $1 million over the course of 10 years before disbanding. Michelle was also the inspiration for legal changes in the management of tanning bed use by minors in the state of Delaware – Michelle’s Law.

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Articles

The narrative reflects on the profound emotional impact of losing a sense of immortality after a cancer diagnosis, highlighting the enduring change it brings. It shares a poignant tribute to Michelle Rigney, a spirited young woman who battled stage 4 melanoma and inspired efforts in melanoma awareness and research. Her legacy includes significant fundraising achievements and legislative changes in Delaware regarding tanning bed use by minors. The narrative underscores the lasting influence of individuals who, despite their struggles, leave a meaningful impact on cancer advocacy and awareness.

Learning that I had cancer — melanoma and renal cell carcinoma — made me feel like I lost something, but I keep looking ahead. 

Mary A. Ohara

A Poem About Finding Purpose and Looking Ahead During Cancer

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