Julie is an ovarian cancer survivor who was diagnosed in January 2013. She has worn both sets of shoes, as she was also a caregiver of her husband who passed away from prostate cancer. Julie was a teacher and principal in her career and retired in 2015. Since then, she has been active with walking, biking and water aerobics. Julie also likes to be creative with cooking, beach glassing crafts and writing poems. She has remarried and now her husband supports her with his healing love. Julie’s combined family consists of five adult children and spouses along with 10 grandchildren. She feels blessed beyond measure to be able to spend time with her family.

Julie S. Brokaw

When I look back to the blog posts that I have written for CURE®, I realize that it has been since 

July of 2023 when I last shared my cancer experience

. There were many challenging reasons for this. I have had so many changes since that time, I could write a book. I did try to write about my experience during that time, but the words did not come easily. Maybe the challenges were just too hard to write down.

I have named this piece “Healing” and rightfully so. It is a dreary morning where I am but that is OK because I am so lucky to be here at the beach. This trip is truly a gift as a little over a week ago, we were not sure we would make this trip at all. We had planned this trip for more than a year to spend two weeks at the beach in September. The beaches are less crowded, our favorite restaurants have no wait time, the shops have summer sales to pick up a few pieces of pottery and clothing, and the pace of life here at the beach is slower. I needed this. My husband needed this too.

Healing goes way beyond the physical means that our bodies have been through. The mind has its own challenges. This is where I am today. I have written in the past about the ups and downs that a person goes through on their cancer journey.

For more than a year, I have had many moments of going down the hole of unthinkable thoughts. My job today is to remain positive and use this vacation time with my husband to heal my head, body and soul.

Some of the challenges from the past 15 months have included new chemotherapies that did not work, immunotherapy that did work, loss of my oncologist, life-giving care from my nurse practitioner, loss of my nurse practitioner, a new oncologist, new hospital system, balance and falling issues, brain metastases, gamma knife surgery, new chemotherapy that put me into the intensive care unit in the hospital, my husband’s illness, and steroids. As you can see, the challenges have been overwhelming, especially since last July. Each one of these items could be its own blog post. But today, it is about healing. I am on the other side of many of these challenges.

Since I just got out of the hospital a week ago, my goals this week will focus on the healing of my body. I was not able to do any exercise while in the hospital, so my legs seemed to atrophy terribly. We are in a second story condo, so I will do some steps today. I did the steps two times yesterday but today it will be four times, at least. I must keep moving. The reaction to the chemo affected my eyes, so I also plan to listen and finish a book while resting on the deck of the condo. I love to read but my eyes will need some care first.

The crazy thing with this cancer diagnosis is that each thing that happens to you affects something else in your body. So, as I finish this blog post, I am reminded that these two weeks will see me get stronger in my body, my soul will be replenished by the great traditions on our favorite beach adventures and my mind will get stronger to prepare for my future therapy as I continue to fight the fight and survive.

Thank you to my husband, family and friends who know the details of these past 15 months and have been there to help me get to the next day, and even sometimes just the next minute. They are all part of the healing that I need to do to keep going.

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The past 15 months have been challenging regarding treatment for my ovarian cancer. But today, my goal is to focus on healing my mind, body and soul.

Healing and Reflecting on My Ovarian Cancer Experience 

It has been a while since I have been able to put some words on paper. I have had a change in my treatment, so I have been focused on that. Sometimes I have so many ideas and then I just can’t find the words. Today, I found them.

I have been fighting ovarian cancer for 10 and a half years. I told my first amazing oncologist that I wanted to be her poster child for survivorship. She helped me accomplish that with her excellent and diligent care for me, with lots of items from her arsenal of medications, surgeries and radiation. I also did a clinical trial. My doctor took another job out of state and now I have another outstanding oncologist with a team of fantastic support staff to take care of me. I have asked her to continue my dream of being that poster child. She is hoping the same for me.

Since February, my numbers have risen, so something clearly had changed. I was on a maintenance drug from last September until late spring. That was a great bit of respite for me. The medication was easy to take and had very little side effects. I was very lucky. Again, a blessing in disguise.

Recently, my numbers proved that we must go back to the drawing board and see what that entails. Fortunately, I had some genetic testing the first year after my diagnosis as well as about five years ago. In June, we did a liquid biopsy (bloodwork) and a liver biopsy of the lesion on my liver, and that specimen was sent to be genetically tested to see if my original tumor had changed or morphed.

The results showed that it had changed a bit but not with too much relevance.

But they found something else. My lesion was feeding off what little estrogen that was floating around in my body. I did not know that was possible as my first surgery took all my female anatomy out. Having early genetic testing was ablessing in disguise.

As for my new 7th round of chemo which I have had two of six treatments, I had to change my regular carboplatin to another drug, as carboplatin is out of stock. I am also on another drug with that, which will hopefully help to bring those numbers down. I am also taking a medication to stop the estrogen in my body so that the lesion can’t get nourishment. New meds available, a blessing in disguise.

With all this medical information presented so far, I also want to share the other blessings in disguise that I have encountered these last few months. My oncologist and her amazing support staff have helped me to be able to travel this summer to see family and friends. We worked out a calendar so I could be with some of the best medicine available, children, grandchildren, and girlfriends. I have been to Idaho and Tennessee so far and will be leaving for North Carolina and Utah with their blessings and support. I do not know what I would do without these chances to visit family.

There is one other blessing in disguise that I would like to share. When you go in for treatment and believe me, I am at my hospital very regularly, I have met some of the finest people. Some of them I will never know their names, as they are like me, a patient getting treatment. But they are amazingly friendly. It is like we are all in this nightmare together, but they are fighting hard just like you. Last week, I witnessed an older man walking his wife out after treatment and he put his arm around her shoulder to help her walk with confidence. That gesture was full of love and support. To see it was a blessing in disguise. I have seen so many moments like this during my plus ten years and it always gives me hope. We all need that.

I have certainly had my moments when I get down, but I try to remember the little blessings in disguise. Sometimes it can be the best medicine.


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Sometimes difficult experiences like cancer can come with blessings in disguise.  

Blessings in Disguise During Cancer  

On Monday, I walked out of the new cancer wing at my hospital. I was there to get my normal bloodwork before another round of Avastin (bevacizumab) on Wednesday. I focused on the new tile and my steps out to the car.

The steps of cancer are huge. From diagnosis to treatment is a very monumental journey. The steps I took today somehow had a different feeling as I walked out to my car to come home.

I have been fighting ovarian cancer for 10 years. There have been thousands of steps in and out of the hospital. Some steps were leaving after surgery. Other steps were almost like flying as I had received good news. Yet others were scary moments that I pushed the steps just to get to my car before I started to cry.

Today seemed different. I think it is because while I am fighting ovarian cancer each day, I also must fight two other major battles: one in my head and the other in my body. There is a constant battle in my head about my disease. It focuses on the mental parts which are hard to process. The other battle is my body going through treatment side effects. Let us not forget that the body also has age-related issues,

When you get disheartening news, your CA-125 went up, or your bloodwork showed some inconsistencies, it is very scary. For me, my head goes to bad places. Honestly, I go home on those days and think about things I cannot mention. Just to put those thoughts in words is the unhealthiest thing I can do. It is enough to think them, let alone see them in print. It gives them power. I know I am not to go there, but I do. I know that I need to be more positive, but it is hard.

I fell off my bike at the beach last September and probably injured my shoulder in the fall. I scraped my knee and my wrist hurt as well. But I had no broken bones and I got up and rode back to our condo. For the last several months, I have been experiencing shoulder pain and have just been diagnosed with frozen shoulder. Interestingly, it was the shoulder that had radiation. Next week I will have it manipulated to break up the scar tissue. I have been in a tremendous amount of pain with this injury and inflammation. My scans are good, but my CA-125 has been creeping up and I am hoping that the pain from this injury has caused my score to raise.

I have been an advocate for myself for almost all the steps in my journey. I have been blessed with excellent physicians, nurse practitioners, nurses, lab techs and pharmacy techs at great hospitals. Many have become friends and support beyond the office and labs.

But the steps we take and walk out of the office or lab are done by me, often alone. That is when my brain goes into overdrive. I think about what my future is.

Another CURE writer shared that when you get any results or information about your illness, you need to process it. I agree. Even when I get good news, I am thrilled and want to shout it to the world, but I still wonder if it is short lived. When I get difficult news, I go to the bad place and then pull myself out. I do that with the help of my husband, family, and friends. Processing is letting it sink in, celebrating the good, and not letting the bad take over.

Even with my sore shoulder, I was able to ski a couple of weeks ago and have two more trips scheduled to ski with my husband this winter. Going down Musical Chairs at Schweitzer Mountain nine runs was not much, but it proved to me to try to live my life to the best that I can. I am taking the steps to move forward with my illness and not let it stop me from life. The steps may have been on long boards attached to my boots, but they were steps in the right direction.

Sometimes the steps I take leaving the hospital make me feel like I’m flying if I received good news, but other times, I’m walking quickly to my car before I begin to cry. 

Steps on My Cancer Journey

The definition of an anniversary is “the date on which an event took place in a previous year,” according to Oxford Languages. It does not state that it must be happy, sad, worldly or private. It is just a date.

I have many anniversaries that fit in all those categories. There is a date that is very memorable to me, January 2013, about 10 years ago. My husband and I went skiing at Seven Springs in Pennsylvania on this Sunday. After I was done skiing, I found sitting to be very uncomfortable. We went to lunch, and I still could hardly sit. It so happens that Martin Luther King Jr. Day was the next day and I booked an appointment with my gynecologist.

“Something is there” she said. By the end of the week after an internal ultrasound, clearly something was there, and it was not good. A few weeks later, I was having surgery for cancer.

Hindsight is 20/20 and I had the signs. My mother had a reproductive cancer and that was a sign that I should have acted sooner. I even went to my regular doctor the September before and she did an ultrasound on my gallbladder. “Nothing wrong,” she said. My gut, literally, said something was very wrong.

Three major surgeries, six rounds of chemotherapy, SBRT, radiation, HPEC, OSU trial, maintenance meds and thousands of pokes for blood, infusions, medications, and scans later, I can truly say I have been through the mill!

But I am still here, 10 years later. Yes, this month is my 10-year anniversary fighting ovarian cancer. It has been a journey that has taught me so much about myself.

Try to surround yourself with a support group consisting of family, friends and experts.

Become informed about your illness so you can ask questions.

Realize that there will be good and bad days both with your body and mind.

Remain private or open, that is your call. I have been very open and have shared my experiences in the event someone may benefit from them.

Try to move forward each day. If you have a few steps backwards, get back on track.

This 10-year anniversary is bittersweet. Several wonderful individuals that I have met through my visits to the hospital for treatments have died from their cancer. They fought great fights, but their bodies were just done.

I need to remember that each day counts. All of us will die someday. We just do not know that day. We do not know how, but as patients of any illness, it is always a possibility that the illness without a cure will take us. This is our reality.

On this 10th year, I am grateful for the love and support of a wonderful husband, dear children and spouses, grandchildren, extended family, dear friends, acquaintances, physicians, nurse practitioners, nurses, lab technicians, pharmacists, and the list goes on and on. They are the reason I can celebrate this anniversary. Thanks to all of you.

As I move forward to year 11, I plan on living each day better. I will fiercely love my family and friends. I will celebrate birthdays, vacations in the snow and at the beach, take time for reading books and be active with my body. I am in this journey for the long haul.

This piece began with a story about skiing. I did not know how to ski. I took my first lesson Jan. 1, 2008, at age 55. I fell many times that day. I wanted to learn how to ski because my husband loved to ski, and it was something we could do together.

When I think back to that day of my first lesson, the falls, the bruises, the blood, sweat, and tears of those few hours of going down a steep hill three times with these long boards on my feet, I am grateful that I learned.

Since I have skied almost every year since, I have improved, and I have skied several mountains out west as well as surrounding ski areas. Soon, we are going to Whistler to ski. We are looking forward to this trip which will check off an item on the bucket list for my husband.

That memorable day in 2008 of learning how to ski impacted my life five years later when my cancer was discovered. Skiing saved my life.

On to 2023! Lots of slopes and lots of fun. Carpe diem!

I’m coming up on my 10-year cancer anniversary, and it feels bittersweet. 

Julie S. Brokaw

Healing and Reflecting on My Ovarian Cancer Experience

Blessings in Disguise During Cancer

Steps on My Cancer Journey

Anniversary Time: A Look Back of What I’ve Learned 10 Years After Cancer

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