Jane Biehl is a 12-year survivor of a very rare form of blood cancer, known as myelodysplastic syndrome (MDS). She has enjoyed several exciting careers including a librarian, counselor, teacher, and writer. She loves to write about surviving cancer, overcoming hearing loss and the wonderful benefits of having a hearing-ear service dog.

Jane Biehl Ph.D.

Jane Biehl is a 12-year survivor of a very rare form of blood cancer, known as myelodysplastic syndrome (MDS). Catch up on all of 

When I was in my mid-30s over 40 years ago, I was talking to an elementary school principal and former neighbor that I had known forever. At the time, I held an administrative position in a local library district and worked over 50 hours a week. He looked at me and said, “Jane, you are working too hard. Take some time to smell the roses.”

My friends, doctors and relatives repeatedly cautioned me to slow down, but I was always busy getting promotions, obtaining more degrees and volunteering in the community. I was frequently sick with upper respiratory problems and constantly on antibiotics.

Until I was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 59 years old, my primary care provider stated that it took cancer to slow me down.

I see younger people overdoing it and making the same mistakes I did. I try to tell them to slow down, and they listen like I did at that age.

But there is something worse now. People of all ages use their cell phones and let life slip by them. I was on a cruise in beautiful Canada. We go on cruises allegedly to sightsee, relax and take it all in at least I was. We got off at a port, and when I looked around, I saw that almost everyone was checking messages and not taking pictures of Sydney’s unusual landscape, or relaxing.

I live in an apartment with a pond, many trees, deer, squirrels and wildlife. The leaves were all changing into yellow, red and orange with the gorgeous fall landscape. I take my little dog on daily walks and love to watch the squirrels scurry up the trees, the landscape changing before my eyes, and seeing my happy little dog bouncing along. I seem to be the only one not gazing at my cell phone with the dog’s leash in one hand and the cell phone in the other. If my eyes were glued to the cell phone, I would be missing all this scenery.

I have pondered why Americans work so hard. People from other countries do not understand why that is. They are very involved with families, friends, social life and churches, and look at us wondering why.

I have asked myself many times throughout my life why I am in such a hurry. I still tend to schedule several activities in one day, and then feel anxious about being on time and getting everything done. If I am in such a hurry, where do I think I am going? Wherever it is, well, why is this worth it? My answer is, I would rather take my leisurely time and enjoy the journey. Ralph Waldo Emerson stated, “It is the journey, not the destination.” No one gets out of life alive in the end.

I have stated many times that cancer is a brutal teacher, but not every lesson is a hard one. Being forced to slow down is not always bad. I recently saw my neighbor at an event and reminded him that he said that to me. He just smiled.

As I strut along now, I hear his voice whispering to me to “stop and smell the roses.”

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Articles

A personal reflection on the importance of slowing down and appreciating life, this narrative highlights the author's journey from a work-driven lifestyle to a more mindful existence following a cancer diagnosis. The author emphasizes the tendency of people to be consumed by work and technology, often at the expense of experiencing the present moment. Drawing from personal experiences and observations, the narrative encourages a shift in perspective, advocating for a balance between productivity and savoring life's simple pleasures, as encapsulated by the phrase "stop and smell the roses."

I spent my life racing against time, until my cancer diagnosis forced me to hit the brakes.

Taking Time to ‘Smell the Roses’

As a child and now an adult I remember an oft-repeated quote, “The only constant is change.” The older I get, the truer this is. As an elderly person, I feel like I can’t keep up. I grew up in an era where, in the evenings, we would sit on our front porch and visit neighbors and friends to keep cool because of no air conditioning. 

Now in the computer digital age, we are on our tablets getting digital news, Facebook, Instagram and 24-hour broadcasts on television. Our phones pop up with the latest news and we feel forced to read it. We feel guilty for not being active all the time and keep receiving articles on how to make the best use of our time. We are always in a hurry, but I often ask myself where I’m going and why I’m rushing. Keeping up with the newest technology is nearly impossible for anyone, but especially for older people. 

Tim Tincher wrote an article called “Smartphone usage surges 13% in 2024.” His data showed that between smartphones, television, tablets and computers, the average American spends 16 hours and 10 minutes on devices. Millennials and Gen Z spend more than six hours per day on their phones. No wonder they become experts on these devices! I feel inadequate daily because I do not know how to use these devices to save time. I have been extremely frustrated working on my latest book and what I do not know.

Traffic in the city and driving in fast lanes are difficult for me. Everyone seems to be in a hurry and it is impossible for me to keep up. It takes me longer to get ready to go anywhere than it used to. I remember my parents complaining about being slow and now I understand it!

Cancer changes our lives even more. We have to slow down, we feel fatigued easily and we spend hours with doctors, in hospital waiting rooms or getting treatments. My friends my age often brag about getting up early and talk about all they can do in one day. With the fatigue from my myelodysplastic syndrome (MDS), I am forced to stop and take frequent breaks to rest.

How do I cope with this? I have days I do not schedule anything, not even going grocery shopping. I get up when I feel like it. I sip coffee and read my books. I take my dog for a walk and enjoy the sights. Sometimes I go to a local coffee shop and sit on the patio. I refuse to hurry. Sometimes I do not even write! Sometimes I binge-watch “NCIS” on the television. It is not often enough but I do it whenever I can.

Yes, we are all inundated with change and the digital world. And it is OK to slow ourselves down. No one else will do it for us. The wonderful thing is when we go back to being busier, we feel more rested and energetic. We can control our lives and our clock and are healthier for it!

With my myelodysplastic syndrome and age, I find it hard to keep up; however, cancer and fatigue have taught me to live at my own pace. 

In a World of Rushing, Cancer Taught Me to Slow Down 

I am amazed at people who are warriors of cancer and still worry about being old. I have a friend who is a true and valiant survivor. She had breast cancer, severe lymphedema and terrible side effects for years. She still goes to work and sojourns on.

Imagine my surprise when she said that she didn’t want anyone at work to know how old she was. I told her I appreciated every single day as a gift and was so grateful. (Spoiler: I am older than she is).

She stated that she was grateful, but just did not want to be looked at as elderly. Granted, she was older than most of her coworkers, but I was still stunned. I realized then that each one of us reacts differently to what we learn from cancer. I have often said cancer is a tough teacher, especially after having myelodysplastic syndrome (MDS). I have learned not to obsess over the little things like age and to be more thankful. She learned to be tough and valiant but still worried about the perception of age. I thought, then, that we all learn different lessons. Many people would say my obsession with finishing my book and spending years on getting it published was stupid, considering I could be doing a lot of things and enjoying myself more. We each choose what is important to us and honor that. We each have our secret fears.

What right did I have to think she should not worry about age? It is not up to me to judge. The more I thought about this, I realized that a lot of this is due to our society and how we are portrayed in the media. Ageism is rampant in our society. People in other cultures often revere their elderly but the U.S. does not do that. The definition of ageism is “Discrimination against older people because of negative and inaccurate stereotypes.” It is so ingrained we do not even realize we are doing it.

Retired people are often looked down on as not contributing to our society. Many of us are behind in our knowledge of technology. I did not begin to use it until age 40 and preschoolers now use it both at school and home! There is a learning curve! Yet, many people my age are working part-time, taking care of grandchildren and enjoying life. We are in book clubs, we travel and we enjoy life. I have 90-year-old friends who still have so much to teach me at age 73. Their wisdom cannot be replaced.

Please do not think I am bashing younger people. I say constantly that I do not know how they do it. They work, go to school or both. They have fears about violence in the schools I never faced. With all the social media including Instagram, X, Facebook, websites and the usage of tablets, kindles, computers and more. They are juggling a constant influx of information with few if any breaks. They are facing uncertain political events, bullying on social media, and problems adults never dreamed of. And most of them are really good people. But elderly people have a lot to offer too.

Add this to the stereotype of cancer. Fortunately, due to tons of research and new treatments, it is no longer considered a fatal disease. But people do look at us differently if they know we have it. So many of us are battling both the stereotype of cancer and aging.

It is my hope that with the new “elderly” and the lessening of the stigma of cancer, future generations will not feel the need to hide their age. After all, we are survivors and need to be loud and proud of that!

Having myelodysplastic syndromes has taught me to cherish every day and to pursue the things that matter to me, like publishing a book I’ve been writing.

My Worries About Being Old as an MDS Survivor

One of the problems in the United States is our infatuation with body image.

This obsession with looks was demonstrated by what happened to Simone Biles in the Olympics. She is one of the most talented gymnasts in the world and has accomplished performances no one else ever has. No one except another athlete can appreciate the years of practice, grueling pain and sacrifices she has made. And what did the fans complain about? Her hair!

She had the perfect response on Instagram when she said, “Don’t come for me about my hair. IT WAS DONE but [the] bus has NO AC andit’s like 9000 degrees…oh and a 45-min. ride.” The point is that the criticism never should have happened in the first place.

Years ago, I read that the average stars attending the Oscars spend over eight hours getting ready. When we are going out the door, none of us have that kind of time. Yet many people emulate the stars and want to look like them. Teenagers try to imitate the beauty. I blame the media for a lot of this phenomenon.

For people diagnosed with cancer, how we look is an issue. Many people have surgeries and feel disfigured. Lymphedema can require bandages that are large and unsightly. Hair loss is devastating to many people. With a blood cancer like mine, my body image is not altered, but I often look pale and have big shadows under my eyes from the fatigue.

I also am saddened by the lack of self-confidence in our society, which often goes along with the obsession with body image.

I worked for several years counseling children who were being fostered and adopted. I would ask each of them at the end of a session to tell me five good things about themselves. I do not remember even one giving me an answer without my prompting. I would remind them that they were polite to me, put away their toys and mention other positive actions to get them started. They sometimes picked up on that and began to think of other things on their own. I would have adult clients who would berate themselves repeatedly. I would ask them if they ever said the negative things to their friends that they said to themselves. They would reply “of course not”, and I would just look at them and ask why they did it to themselves. They would get the point.

What does this all have to do with cancer? There are so many things we cannot do after treatments and side effects. My confidence level has definitely plunged. Because of the risk of infection, I have given up cruises, have lots less energyand have to limit my activities. My hearing loss makes me afraid to say something stupid in public, and I avoid large crowds. Losing my teeth has affected my appearance and I am afraid to smile. I think every one of us has a story to tell.

I try to cope with both my appearance problems and my lack of self-confidence by giving myself little pep talks. I may look pale, but makeup helps.I apply lipstick when I feel I need makeup. With my appearance, a pretty dress or suit can make all the difference. I am letting my hair grow longer for a brand-new hairstyle. I can’t go on long walks, but I can do short ones. I can’t travel as much but can write more. I can’t go on cruises but can take driving trips. Each little mantra I tell myself, each little positive gesture I generate, makes me feel better. Yes, it makes just a little tiny bit of difference, but that may be all any of us need!

Cancer has changed my self-image, but I’ve learned a few tricks to help boost my self-confidence. 

Jane Biehl Ph.D.

Taking Time to ‘Smell the Roses’

In a World of Rushing, Cancer Taught Me to Slow Down

My Worries About Being Old as an MDS Survivor

The Importance of Self-Image With Cancer

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