Guy Marini

My name is Guy Marini and I am the caregiver for my wife Mary Lee, whom I lovingly refer to as “my ML."

My ML has Multiple sclerosis, end-stage COPD and stage 4 colorectal cancer that has metastasized to her lungs. She has been given 18 to 36 months to live. 

I have been writing some poetry to express my feelings about her/our situation. I have shared these poems with family, friends and some people who write poems locally. The response has been very positive. I offer them to the 

 audience. My hope is that they will help others who are going through similar troubles.

18 to 36 months they say with eyes downcast

They mean well, they are learned, but do they know

The force of her mind and the warmth of her glow

18 to 36 months…the words tumble out with sadness

They look down, study their hands…and wait

She holds my hand, smiles softly…expressing no complaint

Enjoy life, stay strong…while sadness begets

18 to 36 months…they really don’t know

The fight in her heart, the strength of her soul…and so

Thank you for the prediction and well-intended words

But for now she will be one with the birds

That sing outside her window as we enter spring and fly

Smiles to our faces providing sweet music to our glorious kingdom

18 to 36 months is a guess that gives her pause

Of medicine, trite statistics and the like

Who amazes in beauty, strength and kindness

18 to 36 months…the writer doesn’t agree

Because he has seen her so beautiful and free

Of worry and care with a deep well of feeling

18 to 36 months…just numbers, a guide post…a guess

But not imagined to be true by me or my lovely lioness

I will hold your smile in my heart forever.

Your soul emerges in its beauty with force.

If I couldn’t see it I would be filled with remorse.

Your bright eyes beam, your nose twinkles and your cheeks bloom.

People look in wonder as you fill the room with your special

You look at me with your soft, warm smile and I realize I have fallen for

you yet again while my heart is filled with love and admiration.

So, I must keep you with me as your touch overwhelms me like a swirling

I will hold your smile in my heart forever…

Sickness ravages her body and not her mind.

Her will is strong and unable to break the bind.

Her beauty explodes…her eyes soft and blue.

I dream that she will be well somehow and the reality makes my head bow.

She lives day by day by simply conserving her strength.

I pray for her recovery and a life vision with breadth.

Hoping for that smile…that light in her sweet face.

And I feel everything I need to feel in her warm embrace.

 She asks — “Is this what dying feels like?” 

Her face is sad, somber…eyes no longer bright. 

We stare at each other…no answer…only reflection. 

She says…”I’m exhausted, empty, restless. 

No energy, motivation or will to go on.” 

I tell her — “Your loved ones need you here.” 

Is that the right thing to say…who knows…it’s with us she belongs. 

She smiles broadly and tells me she holds me dear. 

I hurt…I’ve cried…but I don’t know how she feels. 

Her life force slowly draining while my heart reels. 

She is slowly dying yet more beautiful than ever. 

Her body wilts and she sighs with weakness. 

Yet her eyes still sparkle like glowing ember. 

And she reaches to embrace me with loving kindness. 

I cannot fathom her beauty as she fades away. 

It’s not understandable yet I observe it every day. 

Articles

A devoted husband and caregiver shares the poetry he wrote for his beloved wife, Mary Lee, after doctors gave her 18 to 36 months to live.

Guy Marini

Holding Her Smile in His Heart Forever

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