Brian Sluga

Brian Sluga is now a testicular cancer survivor after receiving the diagnosis when he was 20 years old. Catch up on

As written in Ecclesiastes 4:4, “One person’s envy of another is meaningless, like chasing after the wind.” I know I cannot catch the wind; it’s impossible.

Back when I was getting my undergraduate degree, I took a class in philosophy as an elective. We discussed Aristotle and his views on self-development. Aristotle believed people are all searching for happiness. However, the confusion comes in on how to get there. What I remember most about that class was reading about our actions and how they actually change our desires. After my cancer diagnosis, this class had a special meaning. I had a choice to do many things. Right or wrong, I had free will.

But there is an emotional cost: the value of dealing with the stress of life’s persistent judgement. Often ending with marks of rejection. No one likes rejection. Ever. What other people think and say may keep you awake at night and can be a deep, echoing reflection of sound. Does one’s judgement mean you need to change? Maybe. But most likely not. Cancer always comes at the worst time and makes itself heard in a variety of ways. Sometimes in the voices of others.

Envy may creep in when you are weak and feeling less confident in yourself. Don’t be surprised on hearing that your past was on fire and only you could have saved it. Those judgmental words that you hear may entice you to be envious of what you don’t have. However, illness can put into perspective exactly what we do have both in ourselves as well as outside. For example, I see people that have empathy and show kindness without expecting anything in return.

After my cancer surgery, I was found to be envious at times seeing classmates driving new cars and doing fun things. I frequently compared myself to a healthy person. During treatment, giving blood, sonograms, CT scans, kidney scans, x-rays, and other medical tests were quite common. That is just what my life was like those days. I had been hopeful that after cancer I would clarify my own developing views about the world.

Only I found conflict between my inner self and being able to confide in others. Then I realized I could not be something that I was not. I found comfort in being thankful to be alive and for everything that I did have. Envy was no longer in my life.

One unseasonably warm winter morning I looked at myself in the mirror and felt something that shaped me into being true to myself. From that day forward, I was no longer envious.

Have you often been lost in thought while worrying about trivial matters and fretting about the future? Do you ever feel like you’re going through the motions of life without really experiencing it? If so, you’re not alone! It’s easy to get caught up in the busyness of everyday life and forget to live in the moment.

By learning to live in the moment, you can experience the little things, find joy in the ordinary, and cultivate more gratitude for your life. Living in the moment doesn’t have to be complicated or time-consuming. Now looking back, I would do things a bit differently. I would ask questions about surviving and what it meant in the long term.

My advice is not to be afraid to ask questions and truly do what you feel is right. After all, your health is number one. Think to a future point. Be that bridge that presents a better view of the world. Do not let envy grow inside you. It often goes straight for your heart and the recovery from envy will take energy away from your physical healing. Write a letter to yourself saying the words that meant a lot to you before your cancer. Maybe it will reveal something you never thought about telling others. Go to a park or nature center and just sit alone and listen. Create your own happiness thinking of what is now most important in your life. Share those thoughts with someone you love.

To me, it boils down to a simple saying: Be true to yourself. That’s how I want to be remembered. That’s it. Everything else is just space in our heads. “Gobbledygook!” Life moves pretty fast, so admit to yourself, “This is who I am, this is what I value, and this is what I won’t compromise.” Be the “This.”

I have encountered people who spend their lives planning their deaths, worrying about what they don’t have. They are closer to dying but have not enjoyed living. Live a life ahead of the wind without envy about what you do not have.

Never erase yourself but understand yourself and your health. Keep looking for how to live within the scope of your own life.

This piece reflects the author’s personal experience and perspective. For medical advice, please consult your health care provider.

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The narrative explores the author's journey through cancer, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness and living in the moment. It reflects on the emotional challenges of envy and societal judgment, particularly during illness. The author shares insights on overcoming envy by embracing gratitude and authenticity. The piece encourages readers to focus on personal health, ask meaningful questions, and find joy in everyday life. It underscores the significance of being true to oneself and living a fulfilling life, free from the constraints of envy and societal expectations.

After surviving testicular cancer, I learned to let go of envy, live in the moment, and embrace gratitude by staying true to who I am.

How Testicular Cancer Taught Me to Be True to Myself

Does your beginning point start the same each day? Only you can answer that question. And only you will be able to open up to the past. Perhaps your story isn't over. Yesterday was just a passage during which you struggled. After all, pain is a way of life. With cancer, I experienced pain many days, and it ruled me. I now use that past pain to open a new page and tell people, “Your story isn't over.”

The voice from my mouth is not the one I started out with. There were mornings when fear showed up before my day could even begin. Over the years, I’ve had a daily set of go-to habits that keep me going even when I’d rather stay in the chair, reading a book or the paper. I felt after my surgery my voice was taken for granted. Deep down I thought my story had just begun. However, I didn’t share that with many. I had a lack of appreciation for what I had done and what I was able to accomplish.

Some people collect seashells, others postage stamps. Then there is my neighbor who collects vintage cars like they’re Hot Wheels. I have for decades been sort of unaware when I get bruises, physical nicks, cuts, and scars. Even when I wasn’t trying to do anything special, I would be working in the yard or garage and come inside to see a random scrape or cut. The truth is I am a collector of wounds and scars, both mental and physical.

Some days, moments felt surreal with parts of myself slipping out of reach. I decided to lay out my vision for wriggling through a creative life. I had time to think, dream, and ponder to let my thoughts just flow. I made a notion to tell my brain that it can start the day with an itch but end up being a great vision. It is how my story has evolved. For example, from the two-mile morning walk and first 10-ounce glass of water, I start my healthy lifestyle. It’s my starting point to health that motivates me. Thinking back after my cancer surgery when everything was so dark in my life and unsure, I never ate healthy. Cream and sugar in my coffee, pizza, double cheese quarter-pounders were all part of my daily diet. All things now I realize were not a good way to eat consistently as a young man.

Now I prepare my mornings in thought while on one of my walks about how far I will bike, walk, and what I will do in the afternoon in the pool for my workout.

It’s a routine, and that’s what keeps me focused. It keeps me healthy and alive. Sometimes I need a change. So, I think “How can I change my routine this month and keep it going until the next doctor visit?” This is a part of my story.

A simple one, with twists and turns along the way to keep my routine interesting.

Years ago, testicular cancer was seen as a disease of shame that no one wanted to talk about. Now I am an enthusiastic advocate for testicular cancer early detection and for anyone who has ever had any type of cancer. I love to tell my intimate human story illuminating the fight against a very curable disease that if caught early can have a great outcome. Part of me would want nothing more than to go back - not to change anything, but simply to relive and enjoy who I was at that time.

I have always been one to notice life is just made up of decisions, some big and some small. There are times you make the right one and others you make the wrong one. And certain times, you think in the moment you are right and only to realize, years later, that it was all wrong.

Your decisions, good or bad, make you what you are. Your story is filled with moments only you have. Remember to take the chance to open up and allow ideas to flow. Your story can be a tool for learning and show people a side of you that may be hidden. Tell the world your story. You might be surprised who tells you, “Wow! That has me thinking about getting myself to my doctor for a health checkup.”

My journey doesn’t end like a place I once visited; but it is a feeling I carry with me, one that still lingers. In the past, all I felt was needing my life to be long-lived. I remember thinking life needs me as much as I need it.

I did want something more than just a carbon copy of my life before conquering cancer. Cancer wasn’t going to define me. My story is one similar to many, but unique to me. Speaking and writing about my cancer has made me realize how important my story is.

My journey can be used as a tool of experience and learning. Even as your story is being told, there is a kind of natural testimony. It goes something like this:

One day, you are focused on your tasks and responsibilities, and you suddenly discover cancer came in like a lion in the predawn, and now more than anything, you want to kill that ferocious lion. So, you run off searching for a grizzly bear to kill the lion. The lion is gone, and now you look for what truly will make you and others happy. It’s your story. Make it a great adventure!

For me, my adventure will be spending my days in uninterrupted solitude by the pool, wearing my favorite shorts caked in sunblock, covering my face with a towel wrapped around my legs later. I’ll write a few pages about my life experience.

My story is not dramatic but is happy, and my story is being told.

The narrative explores a personal journey of overcoming testicular cancer, emphasizing the transformative power of storytelling and routine in healing and advocacy. The author reflects on past struggles, the evolution of their daily habits, and the importance of sharing personal experiences to inspire others. By embracing a healthy lifestyle and advocating for early cancer detection, the author finds purpose and fulfillment. The story underscores the significance of personal decisions and the potential of one's narrative to educate and motivate others towards proactive health management.

I’m a testicular cancer survivor diagnosed at 20. My story is about finding strength, building routines, and sharing hope for those facing cancer.

Your Story Isn’t Over; Start Each Day With Hope and Purpose

Listen up! I just want to let you know if you have been affected by cancer, stand up and be proud of the effort you put into making yourself the best survivor out there. You don’t know me, but I’m exactly the right person to say this to you. My biggest fear was, in fact, being scared to acknowledge who I am. You need to do this.

I have said, “I am a survivor,” and I want the world to know. For whatever reason, human interaction has a profound power to shelter us, provoke us, and, most of all, draw us closer to the human condition. Among our lifetime, we all choose our battles and make choices. It is those actions that define and acknowledge us all.

Discover how each component of your life might enhance your mental health. There should never be too much going on to not do something absolutely amazing for yourself. One simple thing you can try is to have a personal saying when you are being ignored in a conversation. Be sure it is something simple and memorable. For instance, if a healthcare provider is rambling and doesn’t want to listen to you, say, “I want my voice heard,” in your own way.

When thinking about your life and health, may I suggest to comma or not? That is the question. I happen to be a fan of the Oxford comma. Now, I know you are thinking, “What is he talking about?” Well, recently I’ve stopped to really examine my life and compare it to my punctuation choices. I have started writing more poetry and short stories, and punctuation is top of mind for me. I think about the implications of punctuation. Just a wee comma can change the meaning of a sentence. Knowing when to comma and when to period is the question. Period comes to an end. The hard reality of something that is finished, good or bad. A comma is a pause in your life. Something that you know isn’t quite complete. I learned through my cancer surgery that I needed more commas than periods.

After my surgery, the gurney was a symbol for a comma in my life.

I was just going through my best life, and this was the first time something was not right. I awoke on a gurney and felt something taken out of my body. It was not for the weak or faint of heart. It did not come with instructions or dignity like seen in movies.

I did not see the big picture. I needed that comma or a time to pause and think about my future. I knew that after the pause I would be getting out of the hospital, but I was stuck in my head about the future. It caught me differently. It was just not a random thought but something that buzzed feverishly. When all the tests, the poking and prodding, the days of arranging schedules around treatments are finished, I think of it as a glorious period.

I don’t think a cancer survivor ever puts a period to their whole ordeal.

Oh, it can be put in the past, but when we see our physical scars, we may pause and reflect with a comma. Or we may use a question mark when we have a funny-looking spot or feeling. Of course, in life there are always many exclamation points. I can point out all the exciting and exhilarating moments in life. But the comma is punctuation that is often overlooked. So, too, in life. The comma or pause does not need to be dramatic.

Praying in a dark, quiet room is one way I evaluate my present state. Others walk a beach or quiet morning neighborhood daily or participate in yoga. A simple comma in life can be as effective and as long-lasting as much as a more profound comma such as my gurney experience.

Now, years after my surgery, I understand I can take these experiences and help other survivors. This life can be overwhelming. Remember to use the comma.

Take this time away from other obligations and responsibilities and let your heart expand and be unafraid.

Refuse to be ignored and be proud of who you have become. We all have different paths, and many are not straight. There will be question marks, periods, and exclamation points on the path to sustained recovery. A survivor never gets to recovery without a novella of punctuation that comes with your determination. Be good to yourself; the world needs you.

Use a comma now and then to sustain and proclaim, “I have cancer, but I am a survivor.”

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Cancer survivors are encouraged to embrace their journey and acknowledge their resilience. The metaphor of punctuation is used to illustrate life's pauses and continuations, with commas representing moments to reflect and periods symbolizing closure. Survivors are urged to find personal empowerment, maintain mental health, and use their experiences to support others. The narrative emphasizes the importance of taking time for oneself, recognizing the ongoing nature of recovery, and celebrating the strength found in overcoming cancer. Survivors are reminded of their unique paths and the significance of their contributions to the world.

I was diagnosed with testicular cancer at 20. I’ve learned to embrace the pauses in life and stand proud as a survivor who won’t be ignored.

It’s Me, A Cancer Survivor, I Refuse to Be Ignored

Maria was a role model for me and many others on the cancer floor. She was an angel in my time in the hospital after my surgery. Maria’s kindness and service to others was remarkable. I will always remember her intellect and leadership during her care for me. Maria had great hope and faith in me surviving. I remember her saying in her thick Italian accent, “You are stronger than you think, “Capish?”

Maria would say, “Chi ha tempo non aspetti tempo.” In Italian it means stop delaying. Do it today, not tomorrow. She was right. I needed to move on and think about my life. In those few days in the hospital, Maria opened my eyes. All caregivers with cancer patients are critical. In my case they made someone change their whole attitude and really their whole life.

I am thankful that I had Maria as a nurse. I remember someone in the operating room as I lay there, groggy in a pre-surgery waiting room telling me all will be cheerful when noon wakes anew. I thought what does that saying mean? After a few days after my surgery, I was asking my parish priest about it.

The Father said, “Oh it’s from the Bible anew signifies a profound transformation. Much like a new beginning. The morning is unaware of the afternoon.”

When Father was talking to me in my hospital room Maria walked in to take my temperature. She said that Father was right, I needed to think anew. To go about in a different way. I had a lot to think about as I was facing testicular cancer and a testicular removal. My oncology nurse, Maria, treated me like I was her son.

I remember Maria vividly entering my room the day after surgery. Her jet-black hair and ivory skin reminded me of my Italian grandmother. Being part Italian, I love all things Italian. I thought to myself that my nurse named Maria must be a good sign. She saw the father visit me. She put special trust in our short-lived relationship.

Maria knew I was Catholic, and she would pray with me. Hail Mary, full of grace-the Lord is with thee. How touching her words were when she spoke to me.

Over the course of my cancer journey I would go to the hospital for tests and Maria would make it a point of showering me with good thoughts and small jokes. Maria brought me from dreading long tiring test days to feeling good about the upcoming setting sun.

Maria always showed compassion in my hospital stay and the subsequent years of testing. She was like an old friend coming out to meet a great house guest. Maria taught me that even a chance encounter can impact someone’s life.

I was a private person after my cancer. Maria knew it was about protecting the parts of myself that were sacred. She understood I had dreams, fears and the world unknown around me. Maria made me feel like I had a purpose in life and that meant something. I could focus on the past, but she showed my present was crucial to growing and surviving. Cancer nurses influence your memories and create unforgettable experiences

The narrative highlights the profound impact a compassionate oncology nurse, Maria, had on a patient's cancer journey. Maria's kindness, intellect, and leadership provided emotional support and encouragement, fostering a transformative experience for the patient. Her Italian heritage and shared faith added a personal touch, creating a bond that helped the patient navigate the challenges of testicular cancer. Maria's ability to instill hope and positivity exemplifies the critical role caregivers play in shaping patients' attitudes and lives, demonstrating the lasting influence of compassionate care in oncology settings.

Maria, my oncology nurse, inspired lasting change in my life through compassion, wisdom and faith during my cancer surgery and recovery.

Brian Sluga

How Testicular Cancer Taught Me to Be True to Myself

Your Story Isn’t Over; Start Each Day With Hope and Purpose

It’s Me, A Cancer Survivor, I Refuse to Be Ignored

What I Learned From My Cancer Nurse Maria

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