A self portrait revealing the many layers of emotions unveiled by breast cancer. As a survivor, I struggle daily to process and understand the devastating effects of cancer upon my life. Facing a roller coaster of emotional ups and downs can be difficult but I&#39;m working through it. The real me is still in there somewhere. My goal is to bring her forward and set her free.

Malala, as many of you know, is the young Pakistani student who was shot in the head by the Taliban because she demanded an education for all girls, which was outlawed in her country. She recovered and has become a mentor and hero to thousands of girls across all cultures. At 18, she spoke before the UN General Assembly, and at 19 was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. She now runs a foundation that builds girls&#39; schools and gathers school supplies for the grateful students in areas that saw their schools destroyed or had none to begin with. She speaks before large audiences, travels worldwide, and is presently living in England. I painted Malala during chemo for colon cancer, and discovered that in thinking about her life, I gathered strength from my own fear. She is &quot;Saint Malala&quot; to me. An archival print of the original is hanging in the infusion room at the Summit Medical Group in Berkeley Heights, NJ to inspire the patients and devoted oncology nurses who take such good care of us all.

Saint Malala

When I went in for my initial ultrasound, on the screen I saw what appeared to be a large one-armed crab. When the radiologist told me that dark mass was cancer, I asked how he knew so quickly. He told me the shape of the tumor revealed the diagnosis even before biopsies or other tests were done. He explained the crab shape was indicative of many cancers. The word cancer comes from the Latin word for crab. As I worked on this mixed media piece, I wanted to capture my interpretation of the tumor growing inside my body. It was ugly, but strong. I pictured it amid a web of veins and arteries clawing its way through my body.

Undone

By Bonnie Annis

October 11th, 2016

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