This is a pen & ink painting that I did this year.  It represents myself and how tangled & twisted my feelings are about having NHFL and being on watch and wait, always waiting for the other shoe to drop.  But you'll notice how visual, creative and prolific the strands of her are that keep her afloat, because my creativity is what keeps me from diving down the rabbit hole and instead helps me focus on the beauty this life has given me.

Acrylic paint on board
 
My story isn’t unique but, it is my story and I hope it will help you realize that you can survive this disease and live a normal life.
 
I’ve always been the type of person who sees the glass half-full, but in the face of cancer, the emotional tug of war seems endless.
There is despair, after learning I have cancer.
There is hope, knowing I will fight and do whatever is necessary to defeat this.
There is despair, because so much is unknown, so much is uncertain.
But, there is hope in the embrace of my family and friends, whose love and support gives me strength.
Yet, now there is only hope. No other word encompasses all that I feel today.
 
As in my painting I grabbed my hair with my right hand and the other to my chest. The background in my painting you see a "V" which is symbolic for victorious.
The colors show you the emotional pain I was in and then the hope I had felt after the treatments.
 
I am now a breast cancer survivor. 
And my painting says it all!
 

My Despair, My Hope

I used the program Inkscape to create the design

When we are diagnosed with cancer, we involuntarily join a group of people with similar experiences. When I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I joined the “Breast Cancer Sorority.” The picture represents my joining of the “sorority.” 

I decided to use the term “fellowship” as men can get breast cancer too. The graphic represents the treatments I received: chemo, surgery, and radiation along with my transformation. 

I included the breast cancer ribbon at the center of the graphic. The infusion represents chemotherapy, which was the “devil.” The person represents breast surgery. The last stage of treatment was radiation, represented by the person in the radiation machine. The butterfly represents my metamorphosis from life before cancer diagnosis, through life during treatments, and to life after them. 

My transformation on my long-haul journey and living with the undercurrent of recurrence.

Blowing in the Wind

By Shelly McDermott

October 13th, 2022

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